(Closed) I think this friendship is over. (Very long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m really sorry about your situation. Not so long ago I went into to business with my best friend – not a good decision. Everyone always sees a situation from their own point of view – meaning they’re the giving/deserving one. We all do it. Don’t ever barter with friends. Honestly, just let it be, and if she asks for more rides, etc. just don’t be there for her. It looks like you’re being taken advantage of in this situation, but the truth is, she probably doesn’t see it that way. Money overshadows reason. Stop giving in to her neediness, and if she’s still a friend, be there for her. If not, she’s a user and you have no business dealing that sort. 

Post # 4
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

That sucks. If it helps, I don’t think you are in the wrong here. It’s not like she never offered compensation and you asked for it out of the blue making her feel bad. If she didn’t want to compensate you, she never should have offered to, and I think that if I were in her position with little money I would jump at a chance to use my skills to pay someone back.

 

Post # 6
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

Honestly this chick sounds like she wasn’t in it for the friendship she was in it for the rides. I’m sorry you invested time and effort in your friendship but it seems very one-sided and I would just move on.

Post # 7
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She sounds like a taker. And needs a bus pass.

OP, you didn’t do anything wrong. I agree that she should have jumped at the opportunity to pay you back with a free coloring. I cut my friends hair for free because she is my FRIEND, I know what I’m doing, and I like that I can help her save some cash. She doesn’t really sound like she values your friendship. 🙁

Post # 8
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it’s ridiculous that she stopped talking to you for 2 months because you asked for something free. What’s the difference between you asking for a free dye job and her asking for 90 miles driving and hours of your time? She should understand that those requests are equal and if it’s appaling for you to ask her for the dye job, then it’s hypocritical for her to request free rides.

That said, it sounds like there could be a misinterpretation of tone here. If you want to try to save this friendship, meet with her in person and clear the air. Tell her that you are always glad to help a friend and you’re not angry or resentful about giving her rides. Tell her that you just want to know that she’s not taking you for granted and that she’s willing to give some to you and help you out when she can. Her response will determine whether this is a friendship ender or just a bump in the road.

Post # 10
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

+1

Merry Christmas !!

Post # 11
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Ill Be Mrs B:  Wow. Your update makes it really clear that this was a one sided relationship. You’re not asking too much and you’ll be better off putting your efforts into friendships that are more balanced.

Post # 12
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t bother saving this relationship. 

I once had a friend that I felt was a huge taker.  At one point, I told her that she went overboard in her requests of me and that I wasn’t going to accomodate her.  To top it off, she would essentially disappear whenever she had a boyfriend.  We stopped talking for a year and a half.  Finally, I felt bad and knew there was a mutual friend’s wedding coming up that we were both going to and probably seated at the same table and maybe we should just make up, so I messaged her.  She was thrilled to make up andw e were close again for a while as if nothing ever happened between us.  Then she started being needy again and I backed off a bit.  She got a new boyfriend and that was it – if I don’t message her, she doesn’t message me.  She’s one of those people who will only be friends with someone who is convenient for her.  Once it becomes inconvenient or awkward or anything, she’s gone. 

Your friend sounds the same.  She is a friend of convenience – when it’s convenient for her, she’s a friend.  As soon as it becomes inconvenient or too much work, she’s gone.

She’s selfish – move on.  Sorry you spent so much time and effort on this relationship. 

Post # 14
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Ill Be Mrs B:  bahahaha – yea, I can understand giving rides for some time, but there comes a point when someone needs to learn how to call a cab, get a bike or something else like that.  It sucks, but it’s a lesson learned and time to move on. 

The topic ‘I think this friendship is over. (Very long)’ is closed to new replies.

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