(Closed) I think we're breaking up :( longg post

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Starshine32:  Moving in together changes *everything*, whether people want to admit it or not. When Boyfriend or Best Friend and I started dating, everything was peachy. We didnt plan to move in together until both of our leases were up, which would have put us at about a year into dating.  But, at about 5 months together, we found out he needed to move across the country for his work/family, so we ended up moving in together well before we planned to out of neccessity.

 

Things got rocky pretty fast, simply because any and all of your habits come out.  That, and the fact that you’re suddenly lacking personal space.  We talked about it and a couple months in were back to “normal”, but my point is it’s rough.

 

Your situation is MORE complicated from allowing your sister to move in with you at a time when the two of you are just moving in together yourselves.  What is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience with it’s own challenges is now probably just bothersome with a third party.

 

So, you’ve basically got alot working against you right now, but I personally think you should let your sister move out and the two of you stay together at the new place and give it a fresh start.  I’m not saying it will fix everything overnight, but it should certainly help.

Post # 4
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

your sister needs to move out – you can’t deal with your issues when you feel like someone is always listening. he probably doesn’t feel ‘at home’ in his own home.

Post # 6
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Your sister and her divorce arent exactly adverts for a loving and long lasting marriage are they? let her move into the condo and give it another chance with your Fiance, go on the holiday it may be what you both need, if come June 1st you really cant be happy and he still doesnt want to get married then move in with your sister but i think you need to have some quality time together first x

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry you are going through this. I second what badabing88 said…moving in together changes everything. When Fiance and I moved in together we were fighting constantly. We worked through it though, but it was very tough at times. I think it is completely normal to have tension in a new living situation. It is a major change living with your SO! I would try and spend some time alone time with your FI and have your sister move out. If you can’t work it out after that, then maybe it is time to break up. I would at least try though especially if he is still telling you he loves you!  

Post # 8
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Have your sister move out on May 1 by herself.  Take your vacation to Cuba and try to really work on things, just the two of you.  If in a month or so  things are still rocky, then move out.  Moving in together is a very different and a change in the beginning.  You guys haven’t be able to really deal with that with an extra house guest walking around.

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Starshine32:  Regarding the “he wanted the sister to stay longer” situation… No one wants an extra rent-free roommate.  He loves you, and you love her, so now he loves her and is happy to help her get on her feet.

Nonetheless, she needs to go.  You are in a transitioning relationsihp and you need a lot of privacy.  It stinks she is going through a divorce, but that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your relationship to help her through it. 

I agree with PPs: ask her to move out, go on vacation with him, and give it a couple more months.  If you are still unhappy, leave, but right now things are so chaotic that of course you’re unhappy.  Anyone would be.

Post # 12
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Starshine32:  I don’t see this working. i think you moving with your sister is the best idea.

 

There is just so much that isn’t right with this picture, that I’d take it as a sign to move on.

 

That being said, right now, I’d be equaliy concernred with the financial issues you share with your sister at the moment…

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