(Closed) I thought a Destination wedding would be easier!!!! NOT!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sweetchiquita12:  I don’t know if it will make you feel better, but there’s a chance that not all the guests will decide to come. We went to a Destination Wedding last year (in Hawaii) and the B+G were freaking out before because of parents wanting to invite everyone they know and issues with the “flavor of the month” +1. However, about 2 months before the wedding, everyone was bailing on the wedding for a variety of reasons: finances, babies/pregnancy, etc. (mostly finance-related however). In the end, it was literally just immediate family members and maybe a half dozen close friends. Despite all this, the B+G wholeheartedly believe that this was one of the best days of their lives and they wouldn’t change anything about it.

Post # 4
2422 posts
Buzzing bee

We had a Destination Wedding and gave our guests 17 months advance notice. Originally we thought about 25-30 people who attend. We ended up with only 9 guests. But it was still a perfect wedding and we wouldn’t have done anything differently. 

Post # 5
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@sweetchiquita12:  ugh i’m sorry you’re stressed about this!! and to think–i often think “why the hell did i opt for the big, hometown wedding…we should have taken the money and a few close friends/fam and headed to the carribbean”.  It seems that we brides can’t win!

Post # 6
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You have given your guests plenty of time to plan and make arrangements (and they still have 11 months!).  I hope you have a great turnout!

We only gave our guests 6 months – it just happened that way – and we are having 6 guests join us (2 are my mom and dad) and then two other couples (8 in total).  I am beyond thrilled that they can make it.  I would be lying if I didnt say that I am disappointed that more didnt come.  But next week we are going to have the time of our lives (everyone else that declined can be jealous!).  

To date I am still waiting for 3 RSVP cards to come back….people who said originally that they were coming, couldnt stop talking about, were making it their honeymoon that they never had – and well at this point they are too embarrassed to retunrn the card as they arent coming.  You are not alone with the “flaky” friends and the million excuses!! 

Happy Planning!!

Post # 8
11 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sweetchiquita12:  I think when you plan a destination wedding, you have to be prepared for some people that you thought you make every effort to be at your wedding to not make it. It’s sad but with the economy the way it is now, I think a lot of people can’t afford it, and you have to make the best of it and still enjoy your day. That being said, if your wedding is 11 months away, some people’s situations may change before then. Is it possible some people just aren’t willing to commit to going this far out? Just curious as to why you’re rounding up people this early out.

Bottom line is, you and your fiance are getting married and your day will be amazing no matter who else is there! Just try to enjoy the rest of your planning and being engaged!

Post # 9
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

oh dear, DWs are definitely not easier 🙁

I had one, but I only invited 10 people and a +1. immediate family, siblings’ significant others, two friends. All of them said yes when I asked and nobody was allowed to bail 😛

Post # 11
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh dear. I can relate, as my wedding is just about 4 weeks away! I just keep telling myself, if there is drama over the Destination Wedding, imagine how much drama there’d be with 150 guests in DC!

Also, I’ve been surprised by the issues that cause problems (groom’s attire, my step mom, lack of response from hotel) vs what I thought would be issues (my mom, getting people to come, picking a dress) which have been easy.

We decided on a Destination Wedding, the location and date within 2 weeks, and got our invites (no STDs) in the mail in November for our June wedding. We have 31 of 50 invitess attending, with our RSVPs tallied on our wed-site – we knew by February who was coming and who was not. The shocking thing is how few family are coming, and how many friends ARE!

I made a spreadsheet and made guesses as to whether they would come or not, and planned around that number – we guessed 30 – go forward with your planning based on this number. Do you have a good grasp of who will likely/unlikely come?

Post # 12
84 posts
Worker bee

I agree with Miss Grey.  Destination weddings  are hard to plan. Please just prepare yourself  for some of the things  that should be so simple  to give you the worse headaches.. For example the groomsmen pants  and my son in law outfit was quite a headache..

And yes you will have alot of people say they are coming and wont.. I even had someone lie to me and say that she booked her airline ticket and found out later that was a lie..  people are wierd.. So just be prepared.

Post # 14
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@sweetchiquita12:  awww, i am sorry you going thru this.  Too bad we didn’t get to talk more at the meetup about the woes of planning DWs!  If it is any consolation, i went through the exact same stress. it will come in waves – but in the end, you will find it was worth it and whoever ends up at your wedding will make it perfect (at least that’s what happened to me).  We ended up with more than i expected when i first got engaged, but then half of what i expected by listening to everyone’s promises and assurances that they were coming!

Post # 15
84 posts
Worker bee

Ha!  wanna hear a funny story  of  a text I literally just received  5 minutes ago?? Well here goes


 One of my groomsmen girlfriend just texted me and said   “”  Hi denspoohbear11, I am so sorry I am unable to go to Jamaica, I hope it isnt costing u any money since i have to cancel so late. I am so sorry”   

She already booked her ticket  and now I am left with the expense of her half of the room in our villa. it is 2 weeks from my wedding, she didnt even give me a reason for the cancellation and i dont even know how to respond to something like this.. Do I say well yes it will cost but thats ok.. do i say just respond  ” oh ok sorry to hear that”..  I just cant beleive this. Now I have to redo my seating chart for the 3rd time … and have the hotel do a new wedding contract with new amount of guest and price. contact the rental store, 1 less chair needed.. Planning a DW  is way more fustrating than I thought…  🙁     

Post # 16
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are having a Destination Wedding in Jamaica and it’s just the two of us and it’s driving me crazy. For insurance reasons we had a courthouse wedding June 8th, because it takes two months to receive marriage certificate. Ok, we worked out that and made it special. Our Destination Wedding will now be a vow renewal but “real wedding” to us. I thought I could change my name now. Called the resort today and would have to cancel and rebook at significantly higher airfare. So…..at this point I am over the whole Destination Wedding and am so frustrated. I saved my dress, flowers, jewelry, etc for Jamaica vow renewal and if not for that I would just cancel it.

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