Post # 1
In my family, we might say “happy anniversary,” to a couple or send a card. On big, landmark anniversaries (i.e., people who reach their 25th or 50th), we’d have a celebratory dinner with family and friends. But for the most part, we always left anniversaries to be celebrated by the couple — just as we did when they were dating.
This is apparently not the case among my in-laws. In addition to dinners out with family for landmark anniversaries, apparently Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law, and my husbands’ grandparents, send money to their kids/grandkids for their anniversaries. Send cards. Do some big-Facebook-hoopla. Now I feel like crap for taking the “Happy Anniversary!” or, if I remembered, “Here’s a card!” route for the past 6 years.
While my family treats anniversaries seriously and of note, his family sees them as bigger than most other events and holidays.
So, what’s “normal” in your family?
Post # 3
I’m with you – that seems really weird that anniversaries are such a big deal in his family. My parents usually give each other something nice or have a nice dinner out together. I think they took a vacation on one of the milestone anniversaries. I’ll always say happy anniversary, but I don’t think I’ve ever bought a gift for it. It’s pretty much the same in my extended family.
Post # 4
My family is weird, we celebrate every anniversary with a dinner and presents. I will not be carrying on this tradition. I only remembered to wish FI’s parents a happy anniversary last year because that date is significant to my relationship as well. My parents I’ll usually do a card. One year I did gifts because they were visiting me for parents’ weekend at college and I felt bad that they were giving up the day, but it’s not the norm.
Post # 5
My family really doesn’t pay attention to anniversaries of other people. We acknowledge them to each other, but mostly it is left up to the couple to celebrate. My grandparents celebrated 50 years a little while back. We were going to have a family party, but it just didn’t work out since our extended famliy lives down south. My Future In-Laws say happy annivesary to us on our dating anniversary, but that’s about it. I am actually expecting that they’ll make a bit of a fuss over marriage anniversaries, so that will be a bit weird for me, so hopefully they don’t!
Post # 6
What I find weird — and this is not a religious thing — is that his family does all of this stuff for anniversaries, and then birthdays are barely recognized. Maybe my family’s weird, but we still usually gather for dinner and cake for every single person’s birthday (it helps that it’s a smaller family, with only 10ish birthdays a year).
Post # 7
Don’t feel guilty. This might make me an asshat, but anniversaries are the couple’s business. Just like no one cares as much about a wedding like a bride and groom do, no one cares about anniversaries. I looooove celebrating our special moments for example, but I’m fairly certain my friends couldn’t give a rat’s ass hahaha
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I don’t know what day my parents’ anniversary was, nor do I know my dad & stepmom’s. I think I know the month for both but I’ve never been in on any celebrations whatsoever. My inlaws I can also narrow down to a month but they never make a big deal out of it because they didn’t even make a big deal about their wedding (living room ceremony in a prom dress and rental suit).
Extended family sending cards would be weird for me. Though I am an only grandchild, so I can see my grandma, aunt, and uncle remembering my first this May and sending something.
Post # 9
@CookieCreamCakes: My family and friends are similar to your family’s style. We celebrate milestone anniversaries (that’s only been our parents and grandparents so far!) but otherwise leave the couple to celebrate their own day.
I can list my parents’ and siblings’ birthdays off the top of my head but certainly not their anniversaries. I understand anniversaries being significant to the couple but I would be shocked if anyone other than my partner remember ours let alone gave us a gift.
Post # 10
@CookieCreamCakes: My family is a lot like yours. We gather and give gifts for everyone’s birthday but for anniversaries, we usually just say “happy anniversary” and maybe give a small gift like a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine, nothing fancy.
My parents have had a heard year though with my mother’s two surgeries so this April, my brothers and I are buying them tickets to the theatre for their anniversary. I’ve been meaning to cheer them up for a while and an anniversary comedy is the perfect way to do so 🙂
Post # 11
Wow, that is strange. Usually the couple celebrate on their own. I’m like you – if I happened to see them, I would say “Happy Anniversary” or if I remembered, I would send a card but that is it. I can only recall two anniversaries ever being celebrated in my family:
My parents paid for my grandparents and 2 other couples (grandparent’s best friends) to stay at a B&B for the weekend and go to a nice dinner. This was for their 50th. My grandparents and their friends were all so practical and would never have done this for themselves, so it was a nice treat.
My aunt and I threw a surprise party for my parent’s to celebrate their 30th anniversary.
Post # 12
My siblings and I will do gifts for our parents anniversary. Usually, we would make them a fancy dinner and serve it to them (they loved this one), but we’ve also gotten them gift cards to places they’d never go with their own money and for their 25th, we threw a surprise party at a local park. It’s always been the kids doing it, but my grandparents will usually send cards.
DH’s family never really got into getting gifts or even doing cards for anniversaries.
Post # 13
We normally do something for the first anniversary, just like a dinner or something. DH’s family barely recognizes anniversaries. As a kid tho, we did get my parents a card and GC to movies for a date night. I think it’s kind of nice for other people to remember.
Post # 14
@CookieCreamCakes: My Mother-In-Law and her mom make a big damn deal over everything. It has to be a big deal. For instance, it was our 1st year anniversary. We’d probably want to spend it together right? Well, DH’s cousin turned 16 and they had the b-day on our anniversary (even though she had been 16 for over 2 weeks), and his mom was trying to make him feel guilty for wanting to spend his 1st anniversary with his wife instead. Her excuse? “She only turns 16 once. We will be so disappointed in you.”
They send cards for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays (not just Christmas, but Thanksgiving, Easter, St. Patricks Day, Valentines, everything). I’m surprised they don’t send out cards after your first poop from being constipated for a week. It gets overwhelming.
Post # 15
@CookieCreamCakes: That’s really interesting, I mean i some of my aunts make a bigger deal on Facebook with mention statuses and whatever but I’ve not heard of big gifts and money. I think it’s nice though to celebrate a couple’s love!
Post # 16
@CookieCreamCakes: my husband’s family will go as far as having a cake… Like a birthday cake for the couple. They light candles and sing “happy anniversary to you! Happy anniversary to you!” like the birthday song and the couple blows out the candles at the end. I can’t make this up. I think its SO weird. I’m with you, the anniversary should be celebrated by the couple.