I thought he might propose for Vday, he forgot about it altogether?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
5566 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I do think you’re being a little silly, he did make it clear to you he thought it would be the middle of the year and February is the very beginning.  If you want it to happen before that then you need to sit down and have a conversation with him.

It’s understandable you were disappointed that he didn’t get you flowers on the day if that is something you typically do but there is no point just being ‘off’ with him on the phone you need to talk to him and let him know what you’re expectations are. 

Post # 3
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My hubby forgot too. But he worked 13 hours the day before. We like you just moved. Bought a bigger home and all our expenses went up and had to buy new furniture etc. I don’t put much into V day. My hubby is a great partner all the other days of the year and I don’t need extra on a day that to me is just a hallmark holiday. He of course felt guilty and while I was napping went and bought stuff,  but to me it wasn’t necessary.  I agree with PP if you have certain expectations you need to discuss them with him. If this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with you have to be able to communicate . My husband and I have been together for 19 years and I’m telling you without proper communication from both parties you will not be able to survive.  Good luck 

Post # 4
Hostess
8531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

fairydust91 :  I undertand your disapointment because waiting is hard, but to be fair to him it’s not the middle of the year yet is it? It’s only the 2nd month. Give him time. If you are getting towards the end of the year and still nothing then have a proper chat with him. 

Post # 5
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee

Agree with PPs. It’s not even the middle of the year. And the fact that he forgot Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be an issue for me personally. I don’t see the hype of making a special day to let someone know you love them. That should occur every day. And from what you said, he is a great partner and shows you he loves you. 

Post # 6
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

He sounds like a great guy. Valentine’s day isn’t a big deal to some people – like me. If it’s a big deal for you, you can let him know you’re disappointed because you like to celebrate it, but don’t make it into a big deal.

Post # 7
Member
1053 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Yes you’re being silly.

Post # 8
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Lol, my husband forgot too, until I surprised him with tiramisu (one of his favorites). Then I’m pretty sure what happened was he frantically tried to order flowers online for same day delivery (at like 6pm on V-day). The reason I think this is what happened is becaues he was working last night and texted me around 10pm to ask if anything had been delivered, and then admitted he’d ordered flowers from some place…but no, nothing was delivered. Nice try !!! He’s always gotten me flowers in the past on V-day so I’m not upset, more just amused.

But OP, I get where you’re coming from. It’s not that hard to pick up a damn box of chocolates or a sad bouquet from the grocery store on the way home from work, and little gestures like that can mean a lot. But at the same time, as you say, he’s a great partner the other 364 days of the year, and he does seem to genuinely feel bad that he didn’t do more, so I’d have your sulk and move on. I wouldn’t stress about the engagement yet either since he still has a few months to honor the timeline you guys agreed on!

Post # 9
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, you’re being silly. He shows you he loves you every day. Yet you are focusing on this. Because of a dream you had that he was somehow magically expected to know about and expected to live up to?  Focus on all the great things you have together!!

For the life of me I don’t know why people make such a big deal about Valentines Day to the point that if their partner doesn’t do enough it affects the relationship, or even the day after.

Agree with PPs – if you have expectations you need to communicate them, not just be disappointed and ‘off’. It’s unfair.

 

Post # 10
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I totally agree with tiffanybruiser :  I get that it’s not that hard to write out a nice card 1 day out of the year. But from what I can tell, he seemed genuinely sorry and like he actually cares how you feel. As far as the engagement, I wouldn’t be giving it a thought until at least September or October. Make sure you keep communicating though, and if something seems off, bring it up! Sooooooo many worries and heartaches could be solved if people just communicated haha! Good luck, it does sound like you have a really sweet boyfriend. 

Post # 11
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Men are idiots. 

Post # 12
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

fairydust91 :  Cut him some slack. He loves you and you guys have had a lot going on lately. It happens. Also, as a side note: I think the best way to not become salty / resentful while waiting to be engaged, is to enjoy each stage you’re in. You guys just moved in together – and you’re furnishing / decorating! That’s a big exciting step!! Enjoy that. Take it in. And when you become engaged, don’t rush to wedding planning right away either. Just enjoy being engaged.

It will happen soon, bee. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

fairydust91 :  A lil silly… if he told you to expect a ring mid 2018 and we were talking about valentines day 2019 then I’d get it… 

As for not reciving a card or chocolates… maybe with all the expenses of moving etc he’s trying to still save for your ring… It does all add up!

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