(Closed) I thought I want kids but I'm getting so annoyed by other peoples kids

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ha Ha! Your feelings are absolutely normal. I have 5 kids and other people’s kids annoy the heck out of me too! Its different when they are your own obnoxious mini me’s. LOL.

Post # 32
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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emeraldine:  Kids are annoying. Your own kids will be annoying, other people’s kids are SUPER annoying, your friends kids are annoying, etc. That’s just how it rolls. When you have your own kids half the time you’ll be bursting with love and adoration and the other half they’ll be driving you crazy.

It’s like a job you love more than anything and work really hard at but the co-workers constantly talk back and shit their pants.

Post # 33
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

I find some of my friend’s husbands to be annoying, but I still got married . The thing is, kids are annoying. So are adults. My dog is an absolute joy, but he does annoying things too. Everyone finds kids running around a grocery store irritating, that’s why parents and other adults try to stop them. 

It’s kind of the job of the parents to raise their kid to not be annoying. It’s tricky, everyone has different tolerance levels and definition of what is rude/annoying or not (ever read the etiquette debates here on WB? We are all adults and still don’t agree on acceptable behavior). You will get annoyed with your kids, and probably get even more annoyed with other people’s kids, but the whole point of having children isn’t to never be annoyed again… right? Good luck 

Post # 34
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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aBlondeMoment:  Oh I do, I’m sure it’s embarassing and not easy, like I said you can’t control kids 100% and they are gonna do what they do sometimes. That’s why I’m scared and wishy washy about having them. I always find my self saying what I’d do in that situation when someone elses kid acts up, but they are kids, sometimes no method will work and they are gonna carry on anyway with acting up and being kids.

Post # 35
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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emeraldine:  I have a child and she is great. But I am not a fan of babysitting other people’s children, I get really anxious, stressed and if they are screaming, loud, or running I get easily annoyed even though they are just kids… some of us are just not born to be day care workers, or elementary school teachers… its not they we dont like them, it just isnt what we enjoy or are into. I think perfectly normal. It was hard for me to adjust to a stepson that wasnt my own. We make it work, he is a good kid, but it isnt as easy when the child isnt your own sometimes…

Post # 36
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I feel this way too. Fiance has wanted children forever and is desperate to start a family, but I’m not ready yet. We get married next year (I’m 25 and he is 30) so luckily we have time on our side. 

I have those fears that once I do it, I will want out and think I made a mistake. That I’ll be a bad mum. Fiance promises he will do all the hard stuff, the night changes, dealing with the tantrums etc – because he genuinely is looking forward to those things, whereas they terrify me. 

I know I do want children and I know what I’m signing up for marrying my Fiance (he has ended relationships in the past as they didn’t want kids) so I’m just going to see what happens! I think we will wait a year or two after marriage before TTC, so I’ll be closer to 29. I know that even if I struggle, Fiance is so enthusiastic and naturally paternal that I’ll be ok with his support.

Post # 37
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Totally feel you. I’m pregnant with our first and even until now, there are some kids that just annoy the hell out of me. Our puppy is better behaved than some of the little devils I’ve witnessed.

Post # 39
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m a mom of two (considering having three more) and other peoples kids drive me nuts. I love being around my kids though because raising them they know what buttons they can and cannot push. Other kids amaze me at the things they will do! I never would have had that kind of nerve and my kids definitely dont.

Post # 40
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee

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emeraldine:  Here’s my take. So few people these days know how to parent their kids. I think that yes, toddlers are hell and it’s hard to parent them, but past a certain point it’s just an excuse. I’ve actually met some amazing kids who are so mild mannered, and well behaved that I have no doubt in my mind that my Fiance and I will be able to raise good kids.

We are both going to be very serious about consequences of the choices our children make. If they’re screaming in Target, I’m going to drop everything where I am and leave. I would make it a point to say “well, since you can’t behave in public, I guess I have to take you home.” I would also set clear expectations for behavior out in public, and if they do not meet those expectations, then there are consequences.

Honestly, I don’t take from it that I hate kids, when I see little banshees out in the stores. I take from it that people can’t parent their kids and I’ll be damned if I’d stand for that kind of behavior.

Post # 41
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I feel exactly the same!!!!  I am 34 and my husband is the same and we were both undecided  and now that we are married he is saying he DOES want to have one?!  I love my nieces and nephews and my friends children but after about an hour of babysitting I am OVER IT and watching the clock haha!!  I don’t doubt I would love them if I had my own I just don’t know if I want that to be my life.  I LOVE that we can do whatever we want whenever we want and have the money to do it.  All that will change if we decide to have a child!!!  We have so much fun all the time now I just don’t know if I believe the “rewards of parenthood” could be better than what we have now!  It’s terrifying to me and causes me anxiety regularly trying to decide b/c let’s face it I’m not 25 anymore I have to do it soon if I am going to do it!!  So, no your feelings are not uncommon at all!  Good luck with making your decision! 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by flwrgrl.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by flwrgrl.
Post # 42
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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emeraldine:  I found kids super annoying before I had one. DD was a surprise, unplanned. I love her more than anything.

I still find other people’s pretty annoying.  

Post # 43
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

After years of going back and forth, I’ve chosen not to have children. With self-awareness, I have concluded that it would compromise my well-being, since I require a great amount of self-care, including abundant amounts of sleep, exercise and tension-reducing activities such as yoga and quiet meditation.

After discussions with many moms, I understand that the time, resources and emotional energy required to raise children would make addressing my needs unfeasible.

That said, I give all the credit in the world to the people who can handle parenthood. I see it as the most challenging and rewarding thing one can do. At times, it makes me sad that I’m not wired for it 🙁

I think it’s important to remember that it’s a personal choice – one way is neither right nor wrong. It doesn’t make you a bad person or “selfish” as some say.

I know moms who feel that they were born to have children… but I also know moms who wish they had felt that not having them was an option (not that they don’t love their children or have regrets… they just might have made a different choice). 

What I previously expressed aside, H2B and I love our lives… being able to do what we want, where we want, whenever we want. We live it up like we’re retired. So, it’s also a lifestyle choice.

The good news is that you have plenty of time to think it over. Best wishes and know that whichever decision you make will be the right one 🙂

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by LilOne518.
Post # 44
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

Having kids is a sacrifice. You aren’t always able to do what you want when you want. But, that is part of being responsible and adult. Kids are a blessing! Sure, they can be trying and irritating, but in the end, what could be better than the fact that you have brought a new life into the world? It is such a joy. 

Post # 45
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was never a big fan of kids and wasn’t sure I wasnted any (knew I would have them though bc my husband loves kids). It’s so different when it’s your own. I love my daughter so much and can’t imagine life without her! Everyone including myself is surprised by how great I am with her. I guess they didn’t have high hopes for me lol.

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