(Closed) I thought I want kids but I'm getting so annoyed by other peoples kids

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Haha yeah, your thoughts are my thoughts, OP. I’m 30 and I am currently pregnant 🙂 Until I was 29 I always thought that one day I will have kids, but never felt the urge either. I don’t like kids, all my friends’ kids are annoying to me, I don’t have patience and skills with children at all and I never hug or kiss other kids because I just don’t feel it. I was the one to postpone having kids while my husband was so excited. And then when the timeline was there we tried and I got a negative pregnancy test. It was so heartbreaking and emotional for me that in that moment I realized that I was ready and really wanted a baby. I’m pregnant now and though I still dislike other’s babies, I know I will love mine with all my heart and he will be the least annoying kid on earth for me. I already say he is so handsome and I’ve only seen him in a screening on the OB’s computer.. 🙂 So don’t worry anymore and know that almost all of us feel this too!

Post # 48
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee

I haven’t read all the other posts, so forgive me if this is a repeat of the advice you have already been given. I have 2 kids ( married 13 yrs and was a ‘late in life’ mom bc I really wasn’t sure I wanted kids at all).

I think what is important is to think about not just the baby stages, but do you want to bring another person into the world and into your life?…. because if the terrible 2’s lasted forever, NO ONE would have them. Ditto if you had to permanently function on the little amount of sleep you get in your childs first 3 months. Don’t even mention the word teenagers, and the drama that may go on around that time in life…. But none of these things lasts forever. Your child changes and grows and stops being a crying newborn and turns into this interesting little person that you get to share your life with.

There were times I have wanted to seriously throttle my kids because they were driving me crazy. There were just as many times that I was so proud of them that I almost burst. I think that there are some women that are marvelous with babies (not me) and others that are great with teens. There are many of us that don’t know exactly what we are going to be good or bad  at… bc if you haven’t had lots of practice with kids, then how are you supposed to know?

Having kids is a leap of faith. You also have to expect the unexpected….. you might be outgoing, warm and friendly, but your child may be shy and reserved. Can you look at that as just a personality trait, or something that has to be addressed because he ‘isn’t like everyone else in the family, and has to learn to fit in.’ I used to work with a neurologist and his son  had NO aspirations for college . It was really really hard for my coworker to accept this and their relationship was not as warm as what he had hoped it would be…. so like Forest Gump said… life is like a box of chocolates… you nevah know what your gonna get. This is the ultimate quote for parents.

My own thought is that my kids have brought out every emotion in me (good or bad) and even though I would love to have more time to sleep in, have sex with dh, take a vacation without them…. I wouldn’t trade my life. I also don’t want to wake up when I am 80 and look back at my life and say that I wasted it on watching girl shows on TV when I could have been building a blanket fort with my son, or taking my daughter to dance. Developing those relationships has been an interesting, fun, exhausting but complete experience!!  It is really fun to experience their world through my own eyes.

I know it’s a hell of a decision… and one that shouldn’t be made easily so I encourage you to go with your heart.

 

Post # 49
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

I have decided i do want a child possibly two depending how i feel about it but i really dislike other peoples children. Mostly because they are rude/loud/messy ect. I’m sure i will love my own though because its mine and there is a difference. I have friends who have children and still don’t like other peoples kids. 

Post # 50
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I’ve always felt this way, to the point that I did not want to have kids at all, exactly for the same reasons you stated, and then I got pregnant and everything changed, now I love my little girl so so much, she is my everything. She does annoy me sometimes, when she cries and when she does not want to sleep and I am dead tired, but I guess it is normal, she is not even a year old and she is not very independant yet.

Other kids annoy the heck out of me though.

Post # 51
Member
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

emeraldine:  I don’t like kids.  there I said it. yep I did. I am a mother and I don’t like kids. I love my child but , I am not always a fan of other kids and I don’t like them as a whole. I also never thought I would have kids but I had my son and I definitely wasn’t a natural at it. Like you, I wasn’t naturally good around kids. In fact I was always very awkward and to be completely honest, grossed out by the things I saw moms having to do. diapers and throw up and spit oh my! ugh! but then… I had my son. I still wasn’t a natural and to this day I struggle with figuring it all out, but now that I have him I wouldn’t change a thing. I actually want another child in the next few years. I don’t know if that’s helpful at all but I will say that somehow things that normally irritate you are less irritating when it’s your own kids.

Post # 52
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

I plan on never having children. I used to think I wanted a bunch because I only fantasized about the good times. The reality is, after thinking long and hard, children would actually ruin everything I hold dear in life. I wouldn’t be able to handle the reality of them and there are just so many other things in life that are more important to me than having kids. I would rather not have kids and regret it…..than have them and regret it.

Post # 53
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t even read your content. DIdn’t need to. The title says enough.  I am a mother of two.  I can’t stand other people’s kids.  I adore mine to the moon and back and can’t imagine life without them. But don’t ask me to babysit yours. 

You’ll never change your mind about liking other people’s kids. But you will love your own with all your heart. 

Post # 54
Member
880 posts
Busy bee

I’m so glad you posted this. I wonder the same thing……. we had a kid steal from us  at a MLB game and the mom was like “oh sorry! He has sticky fingers” like it was adorable for her 8 year old to do and returned our item. I got a diaper to dispose of from a couple and was told “its ok its just urine”. And I wonder if this is my future……

Post # 55
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee

Years ago I talked to a banker from the City of London, a man with huge business sense but very little imagination.  He and his wife met at age 39, were married at 40 and had their child at 42.  I talked to him about 3 weeks aften the baby was born and he said that he was amazed.  He had expected a baby and what he and his wife had got was a PERSON.  Already this baby had her own personality and was her own individual unique self.  

So don’t make the mistake of thinking that you merely get a baby.  You get a person who is simply themselves, with all that entails, and you get the privilege of travelling through part of their life with them.

Post # 56
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
Supersleuth:  This. 

What gets me choked up sometimes (especially considering we’re on a wedding website) is that remembering my wedding – the father-daughter dance I hold so dear, how exciting it was to shop with my mum for my dress etc 

One day  (maybe!) I’ll get to experience that too on the other side. Children are more than interuptions and dirty nappies.. they become young adults you get to see mature, teenagers you get to butt heads in, and finally young adults themselves you get to enjoy life with. 

Post # 57
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee

I always felt the way you do…and still do even though I have a little girl now. I think that feeling of annoyance with other peoples’ kids is a universal feeling. Just because you want kids or have kids doesn’t mean you’re going to love all kids out there.  I love my little girl to death, but sometimes when I am out with her at playgrounds and play areas and I see other kids being rowdy and bossy around her, I get really mad and wonder why are they doing that around my kid and where are their parents? I truly believe that you really have to set an example for your child and teach your child to be a good person from day one so that they don’t become those kids that other people can’t stand.  It’s really up to the parents.  All kids are annoying in some way…that’s just how they are. They are kids.  One day they will grow up and think that of the younger generation after them. LOL.

Post # 58
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

View original reply
emeraldine:  Those thoughts are completely normal. I’m 24 weeks pregnant and so ready for my own and I loved my kindergarten class students, but I HATE strangers’ kids. I always sit as far away as possible from them on the train and I hate when they’re noisy in the shops. I think most if not all people feel this way!

Post # 59
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

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Supersleuth:  Until I was pregnant I always imagined babies in utero were in stasis and they didn’t become people until they were a few months old or something after the ‘eat-poop-sleep-repeat’ potato phase, but my little one is still in there and she already seems to have a personality. She responds to her dad’s voice, she kicks in funny patterns that she makes up and protests when she’s being squished in there (like when I was cutting my toenails last night) she makes it clear that she isn’t happy. Amazing!

Post # 60
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

OP – you’ve described me, haha. when i had my first child, i had never as much as held another baby or changed a diaper or done anything with kids. fwiw, i just had my second baby and am super happy. i still hate all other kids. haha. even taking my 2.5 year old to the playground seems daunting. if you want your own, definitely have them – your love/hate feeling for other kids doesn’t apply to your own.

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