(Closed) I thought I want kids but I'm getting so annoyed by other peoples kids

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 61
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I always wonder the same thing, OP! I do love cute, easy, young kids. The one year old toddling around and giggling at everything melts my heart. But I get very easily annoyed at bratty, rambunctious, annoying, can’t-take-no-for-an-answer older kids. I don’t know how to play with kids, though I try! But get annoyed quickly and want to go join the adults. And I find myself praying my neices and nephews don’t ask me to go push them on the swing or something. Because, of course, if I say “no” I get the side-eye from their parents who want us non-parents to take their kids off their hands every chance possible. “How dare you not want to play with my child?! Don’t you realize this family function is where I get away from them for a few hours and YOU have to play with them??” Sorry, not my kids, not my problem. And then, of course, when you try to play with those kids and they get out of line and you try disciplining them you also get the side-eye from the parents: “How dare you tell little Johnny to stop hitting you and screaming at you??” Ugh… I honestly think it’s the parents that annoy me more than the kids…

But I think I want kids and I know my Fiance wants kids… badly. But I get so worried “What if I don’t like my kids??”. It’s not like you can return them!

I am also VERY squimish. I pass out or throw up at the sight of blood. I passed out in a middle school health class when a girl was explaining that she needs to give herself insulin shots. When my dog gets sick or poops in the house, I can’t clean it up without gagging or throwing up myself so my Fiance has to do it. HOW WILL I DEAL WITH A SICK OR HURT KID??? What will I do when my kids throws up everywhere? How will I not pass out when my kids falls and breaks his arm or gets a deep cut in his knee? How can I be there for a kid when I can’t handle these situations with adults?

I’m terrified of being a horrible mother but I can’t imagine never experiencing parenthood…. it’s tough!

Post # 62
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’ve never really liked other people’s kids even if they’re well-behaved, perfect angels. I’m just not a kid/baby person. I’ve always wanted my own though. I don’t have much experience with small children or babies either but, meh. I’m not worried about being a mother.

My son is due in August so I’m sure hubby and I will learn loads (like all new parents). I highly doubt having my own kid will change how I feel about other people’s children though. They can stay away from me, haha.

Post # 63
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

When you have your OWN kids its different. You’re going to love them. Also remember you are going to raise them differently and instill different values and morals which will set them apart from other kids (stuff that might annoy you about other children: loud, screaming, etc.). 

Post # 64
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I have two amazing babies.  Mine never annoy me, but some other children do.  Actually they annoy me because their parents are doing a poor job managing them.  Not all children annoy me, but some really do.  With my children I have the control to make them into amazing human beings or not. A great book:  How To Behave So Your Children Will To.

Post # 65
21 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Pecan Springs Events in Brookshire

Perfectly normal to have these feelings. I have seen parents carry on a conversation at the foodcourt in the mall while their kids are screaming at the top of their lungs and running around. A few times, my friends actually walked up to the parents and asked if they could hear them. Our dog acts great and has been disciplined well. He and I have discussed why we would like to have kids, how would we discpline them, who would take time while they are growing, how we would adjust our schedule for them, would take an active role in their lives, when we start saving for their education, when they would move out on their own. Some parents may have just started having them because they saw their friends buy a car, get a home, have kids. Deciding to have children is very important decision that should get discussed prior to actually having them. 



Post # 66
1277 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
emeraldine:  I just want to say this is exactly how I feel. I just don’t know how to act around little kids or what to say ect. being a mom seems like a thankless job and I don’t want the responsibility. I don’t like watching my friends kids for even short periods of time. I don’t remember ever feeling a strong urge to have kids. I don’t seeing it changing now that I’m in my early thirties. 

Post # 67
1277 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
divinerose:  what if it’s not different…what if it’s just as annoying? 

Post # 68
704 posts
Busy bee

I’m also 27 and have been having the same thoughts! 

Post # 69
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Very normal to feel that way! I think most people do. I’m a bit different, I think kids are great and don’t easily get annoyed by other kids’ noise. I worry more about being the right sort of responsible, disciplined parent than anything else. But again, I think that’s more the exception than being annoyed at other people’s kids – as many people have attested to on this thread.

Post # 70
303 posts
Helper bee

I feel as if I do like children, though at the same time I feel exactly like you MOST of the time. It really makes me worried that I’m going to be a crappy mother because I don’t even like “playing” with my little cousins; I just can’t get into it! :/
But on the other hand, my SO being so wonderful in general and with children, makes me love the thought of having his. Also the fact that he is very supportive and very keen to soon start a family with me, does sway my personal doubts in a more confident and positive direction.. =) 

Starting a family is a massive learning curve in many different ways but I have faith that it’ll work out 😉

Post # 71
131 posts
Blushing bee

Here’s the thing. In order for you to really like/love a child you have to bond with it. It’s the same with anything. Children, pets, other people. You have to give them your emotional investment and time to achieve the feels. You can’t do that with every child/pet/person you meet, it’s impossible. So although there’ll be some kids/pets/folks you can’t help but love, most of them you won’t. It’s natural.

Your own child will be an exception. When you’re ready to have children you’ll know. It’ll be something you want and work toward without a question in your heart other than something like “Will I be a good enough mother?”, which is exactly the right kind of question to have.

So don’t sweat this. There’s nothing wrong with you.

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