Post # 1
my very close friend asked me to be her MOH!
I thought after my wedding this past June I wouldn’t need to frequent here as often…but I was wrong! The only thing is…I’ve never been in a wedding and she told me she expects a lot from me as Maid/Matron of Honor (no pressure or anything, hah). I’m actually really honored that she asked me and I want to make sure I do a good job for her.
I know my friend wants things done the more traditional route when it comes to her bridal party (such as us being in charge of hosting all the parties, etc), so I wanted to make sure I’m not behind in anything. She is getting married March 2014…should I be doing anything yet or planning for anything? It seems so early…She has her venue/church booked and has looked at a few dresses for the bridal party…but I get the feeling she might expect me to know what comes next and to handle it? There are four of us total in the bridal party. I only had one person in my wedding party soooo this whole concept is foreign to me.
Any advice as to when to start and where to start? Sometimes I feel this looming over my head and I have no idea what I should be doing/when to start.
Post # 3
How exciting! I looked at this article for duties –
The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here’s what’s expected:
- Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It’s the maid/matron of honor’s (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.
- Help shop for dresses (the bride’s and the bridesmaids’). And the Maid/Matron of Honor pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).
- Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.
- Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.
- Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.
- Lend an ear. Whether it’s about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the Maid/Matron of Honor should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the Maid/Matron of Honor keeps listening.
- Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride.
- Attend all prewedding parties.
- Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).
- Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.
- See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.
- Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.
- Hold the groom’s ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb.
- Arrange the bride’s train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The Maid/Matron of Honor might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.
- Hold the bride’s bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.
- Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.
- Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).
- Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.
- Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.
- Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something — refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm.
- Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others.
- Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.)
- Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The Maid/Matron of Honor continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.
- Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.
Read more: Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail – Wedding Planning – Bridal Party http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz2GPgGXyO3
Post # 4
You have to go with her to pick out bridesmaids dresses, you along with the other maids are in charge of organizing the bachelorette party (but you are more in charge of this) and bridal shower. Although her mom may end up doing her shower, but you and the other maids can most certainly help and contribute to one her big items on her registry. Other duties are keeping her sane and calm during the whole wedding process and day of.
@AlwaysSunny has covered a good part of the duties.
Post # 5
Aww how sweet!
As far as planning, she’ll probably want to be heavily involved in most of the big stuff, but it would probably really be helpful for her if you asked her if there was anything specific she’d like to relegate to you.
I’m getting married this March (yay!) and I didn’t really start planning until May, so you’ve got quite a bit of time, really.
Post # 6
Wow… after reading ALL of those bullets, I don’t think I want to be a MOH!! I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance to be one, but it’s a title I always wanted.
Post # 7
I would ask her what she expects of you. Also, there are 3 others, which is helpful, because surely one of them will want to help if you become too busy/stressed out to do everything. Delegate!
Post # 8
@Rubbs: LOL, I know, now I’m sweating!!
@AlwaysSunny: OMG that was awesome! Thanks 🙂 I did buy a book about it but it barely covered anything.
I’m excited, but nervous. I think once we hit the one year mark I’ll start on things unless she asks me before that. I am really honored and also really scared I’ll screw it up!