Post # 1
I think a lot of us feel this way, after we and our BFs decide that we want to spend our lives together, the word “girlfriend” just starts sounding demeaning! I mean, my guy and I might not be engaged yet, but we have already committed fully to being life partners, so the word “girlfriend” has been driving me crazy!!!!
I told him last night, and since I’m doing SIUP I managed NOT to make it at all about marriage…
We were out on a late night date, and he called me his girlfriend and I told him that I hate being his “girlfriend.” He’s had lots of girlfriends, and we both know that I’m not the same as them. Also, a “girlfriend” can be dumped at any time, and obviously that’s not how my guy and I view our relationship.
He totally agreed and said, “okay, how about Eternal Soulmate then?”
LOL, obviously that’s not a phrase we’ll use while out in public, but I think that for now I’m pretty happy with being promoted from “girlfriend” to “Eternal Soulmate.”
Today I’m feeling a little calmer about waiting, I have the committment, I just don’t have the ring… and that will come.
Post # 3
I think I am sick of being his Girlfriend too…..maybe I should bring that up tonight
Post # 4
@laughs: I’m with you!! I hate being a “girlfriend” now. I feel like…what separates me and you from someone in highschool who just started dating and became “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”? Like you, there is A LOT of difference! We have the commitment and know we are going to spend our lives with each other but to SOCIETY we, as “girlfriends”, are expendable and replacable.
I feel like the term doesn’t reflect our feelings for each other like it should… Idk lol
Post # 5
It also sounds more ridiculous the older you get. The term “girlfriend,” I mean. I cringe every time I have to bring up my bf at work. I feel like I am being judged as I am no longer in my 20s yet living with my bf.
Post # 6
@laughs: I am so glad to hear you say that. The commitment of the heart is the only thing that matters. Whether people are married or not, they break up. I would rather be his life partner and know that we both feel that way in our hearts than have a piece of paper (or a ring…I never wanted a ring, but he insisted).
I think you have a very positive and mature outlook, rather than the whiny/nagging stories I usually hear (and who would want to marry that?). Sounds like you are showing him that you are exactly the kind of woman who is marriage material 🙂
Also, I hate the word girlfriend too because I feel too old to be a girlfriend. I always called him my partner before we were engaged (even though he said it made me sound like a lesbian). We are common law, so we happily say husband and wife now, even without a wedding.
Post # 7
I can feel everyones pain. I told then Boyfriend or Best Friend the same thing… That “girlfriend” just wasn’t cutting it. Nearly 6 years together, it doesn’t explain the level of commitment and seriousness there.
Post # 8
@VaVaVoomBee: YES! I know how you both feel, and you described the insultingness of the word perfectly.
I actually told my SO that I really hate being called “girlfriend” after he introduced me as that one too many times. I said I would rather be called “partner,” and even kind of insisted. He said he’s more comfortable with girlfriend because it smacks less of counterculture/whatever, especially if he’s introducing me to people he knows from his day job (building) who might be inclined to think “partner” sounded really weird. Argh. I just wish things would get rolling and then he WOULDN’T be able to call me “girlfriend” anymore!
I feel insulted by that word. . . it is so high-school and terribly temporary sounding. I dislike it immenseley. I try to never speak of him as my “boyfriend” and when I introduce him to people I call him “(hisname), my partner.”
Post # 9
SO and I just talked about this!! We know we are more than bf and gf to one another, we’re soulmates and best friends which we say regularly 🙂 can’t wait to be his fiancé tho!!
Post # 10
@laughs: i completely agree. i just dont like when were talking to someone and we say were boyfriend and girlfriend they say aww how long have u been dating..”5years and we own a house together and have 2 dogs” were not new. lol. thats what people automatically assume, that we just started dating.
Post # 11
lol I think it’s funny that I hate the word “fiance” so Fiance and I both still default to boyfriend/girlfriend.
I work in an incredibly progressive environment where most people refer to their bf/gf/FI/DH as “partner.” I’ve actually taken to using that as a label instead. I know some people can assume if you say “parter” you mean same-sex partner, but really I don’t care. If someone thinks my partner is a woman it’s not a big deal to me and partner is still more accurate than “boyfriend” yet less douchey than “fiance”
Post # 12
I guess I’ll be the dissenting opinion. I’ve always taken gf/bf to mean “committed, monogamous relationship”-and now that I’m in my late 20s, most people I know who do enter bf/gf relationships do so with the intent of building a future with that person.
Now “dating” to me is more ambiguous. I’ve “dated” guys but not been “in a relationship” with them. Being “in a relationship” has always implied a certain amount of seriousness to me and if I did feel the guy was easily disposable, why bother?
That being said, I do refer to him as S/O here because we have decided we definitely want to get married, but we can’t make any plans (my profile date was our target date but it’s not going to work) until I have my career sorted out so we’re waiting to announce publically. So we’re in a kind of no-man’s land right now.
Post # 13
@laughs: I likes when my man introduces me as “his better half” – especially when it is for people I work with.
Post # 14
Eternal soulmate definitely sounds better than girlfriend to me haha. I am with you on disliking being a girlfriend…still LOL ;]
Post # 15
We weren’t the only ones who hated the BF/GF terms! Partner always sounded weird to us. His parents just started calling me his wife after a few years, but it was before we were engaged 😛 Now that we’re engaged, I’m referred to as his fiance – I think I got downgraded!
Post # 16
The whole time Darling Husband and I were engaged, I referred to him as Boyfriend or Best Friend and he referred to me as Girlfriend. We hated how fiance/fiancee sounded. Sometimes now, he’ll introduce me as “my girlfriend, Stephanie”, and I’m like, “you mean wife, Stephanie?” LOL