(Closed) I slept with my SO the first night I met him AND I met him at a bar…ahhhhhhhh

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Dell79:  That’s generally true that you won’t find spouse material at the bar, but I’m glad things turned out differently for you. πŸ™‚ But in your defense, if your friend was dating his best friend, he’s obviously similar to you, because “birds of a feather flock together” as my grandmother would always say. If you hadn’t of met him in the bar, you may have met him elsewhere among your friends and had the same spark. 

I don’t have a similar story; I boringly met my Darling Husband on eharmony.

Post # 4
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My first “one night stand” was with my Fiance and I thought it went perfectly…. until he called me and kept inviting me out places. I was like “well that failed”… but then we got along so well and it was so easy to be with him. After a few months we decided that we would be exlusive and 6 years later we are engaged. 

So it’s not unheard of. 

Post # 5
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Our first date was on DH’s birthday too!

We didn’t meet at a bar (though our first date was at a bar/restaurant) and we didn’t sleep together (but we did go farther on a first date than either of us previously had) so…kinda?? Lol. We didn’t wait too terribly long after date 1 to do the deed though. πŸ˜‰ Obviously different strokes for different folks! Some couples may not meet that way and some do. πŸ™‚


Post # 7
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii

@Dell79:  HIGH FIVE, sister. I met Mr. O at his best friend’s bar, after too many gin and tonics. We shamelessly hooked up because I was moving to London for a year abroad and lo and behold…10 years later…we’ve blossomed from a one night stand to an honest to goodness married duo. πŸ™‚

Post # 8
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I had sex with SO after our first date.  I’d met him 4 or 5 days prior to that at work though.  Whilst I’d had casual sex before, I knew all my former sexual partners for at least a month before engaging in such activity so it was a new one for me too.

SO also “technically” had a girlfriend.  And when I say technically, I mean he hadn’t broken up with her yet but he spun me what I thought was a line about how he didn’t feel the same about her yaddah yaddah.  They’d only been together a matter of weeks but when he asked to see me again, I refused.  He broke up with her the next day.

I felt bad for a bit but she turned out to be one of those psyco exs.  Phonecalls at 1am, claiming he cuased her to go into therapy, a mother who left a slamming “note” in the fridge.  You know “normal” things (note the sarcasm).

Post # 10
1550 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How weird, I just have to pop in and say that I met my Darling Husband on his birthday as well!

I was 19 and it was his 25th birthday. We hung out until 4 o’clock in the morning and the rest is history! (No sex though… not even a peck! Boring!) lol πŸ™‚

Post # 11
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

my now Darling Husband and I dated while kids in high school (never had sex), broke up and 5 years later randomly ran into each other…we had some drinks..ended up at his place


I said, “So…we’re prob. going to have sex….I mean..I want to.”

had sex, moved in with each other, started ‘officially’ dating again, 8 months later engaged, 1 year later married.


it happens.


sometimes we’ll jokingly say to one another—“want to have sex?…I mean.. I want to.”


Post # 12
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I slept with Darling Husband on the first night.  We met for a date a week afterwards, slept with each other again, kept in touch whilst I was in the UK on a daily basis, and I went back a week earlier to stay with him.

We visited each other every weekend (a 9 hour round trip with boats included) and then after a couple of months he found a studio next door to his and I moved.  4 years later we’re married!


Post # 13
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I did not meet SO at a bar, but I met him at a party, and we were both very intoxicated.  I did take him home that night, and we did sleep together (whoops!).  The next morning, with plans to meet a friend, I woke up and essentially told him ‘get out!’.  At that point, I was sooo happy being single, and NOT looking for anything more.  Mind you, one night stands were not my norm either. 

Well, well, imagine my reaction when he asked if he could go out with me that day.  I blatantly/rudely told him I was meeting a girlfriend for the game, and although he could come, he would not have that much fun.  He said it did not matter, he wanted to get to know me better…he was going.

We ended up having a WONDERFUL day/first ‘date’, and the rest is history…

Post # 14
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not quite the same, but after seeing each other at parties of mutual friends, Fiance and I actually got together because of some drunken making out. Aaaand everyone at the party assumed we were upstairs having sex, so… whatever. It all worked out.

Post # 15
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh yeah, I’ve done it all.  There are no rules, lol!  I’ve known people who did everything “by the book” and still ended up divorced, and people who met at a bar, slept together on the first night, got married and are still going strong.  That kind of advice is just a generalization.  And I would teach it to my kids!  Haha!  But I have never followed anyone’s rules but my own and couldn’t care less if it seemed “whoreish” to anyone else.  Have fun, life is too short.

Post # 16
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had sex on the second date, and he stayed the weekend. We had sex like five more times. (lost count) I don’t think there are any “rules” either. He told me he thought I was a “slut”, be he liked me anyway.  

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