Post # 1
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
Just a tiny rant. My bf recently asked me if he asked me to marry him what would I say and of course I said yes! He made it clear that it wasn’t a proposal but it would happen soon. I put it out of my head and don’t get on weddingbee as much, but it’s so hard when he brings things like that up. I want to ask him how soon is your soon?! My soon and his soon may be two totally different time frames. I just smile and give him kisses but inside I just want to shake him and say what does SOON mean to you?! I’m done now. Thanks for reading 
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Post # 2
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
zcuriousbuzzybee: Well, that’s a good sign that he asked!! But yes, guys’ “soon” and our “soon” might be vastly different… I would say not to ask, though, as he might wait until it seems like you’ve ‘forgotten’ about his question before he asks you (so he can make it more of a surprise). So if you prod him, it might set back the clock. Good luck! Fingers crossed for you!
Post # 3
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
I know it’s hard but you need to be patient! Believe me, I’ve been there. My Fiance has been doing the same thing about 2 years ago and I was waiting. We will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary November and we got engaged last week 😉 My advice: do not talk about a wedding, about a ring and all that stuff if he doesn’t bring it up. You don’t want to overwhelm him, do you? But, surely if I were you I’d ask him about the time frame. General timeframe like “soon – this year” or “soon- more than a year from now”. Once, me and my Fiance had a seroius talk about our feelings, about where were we. I wanted to know what’s going to happen because we already bought an apartment, share a dog and two cats… He’s not an emotional type, but then he told me I’m the girl he wants to marry… I hated calling myself his “girlfriend”, hated when we were being introduced to someone and we were “Kota and her boyfriend”. Especially when we bought our own place made it our home and made our relationship stronger it was so bitter to hear. Now it’s so exciting to finally be his Fiancee, his future wife.
Btw, how long have you two been together?
Post # 4
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
We’ve been together for a little less than a year – I know some may not approve, but we are older and know exactly what we want. He’s more than I could ever imagined. I love him a lot and I’m ready to take the next step with him.
Post # 5
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
zcuriousbuzzybee: I actually kept talking about weddings and engagements and growing old together etc. It was only in a light hearted way, and there was never any pressure. It was just more of an in-joke really.
We were both waiting really, I was waiting for him, and he was waiting for his savings to be ‘right’. In the end we ended up shopping together, and he didn’t want to have the ring and keep me waiting so he proposed the day after we bought the ring!
Keep your chin up, it’ll happen when you’re both in the same place. Be patient, but also, don’t go all cold turkey on the marriage topic imo!
Post # 6
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
I do understand you. Although I don’t know your situation, preferences… Have you been dropping some hints? You know what guys are like 😀 You have to make it pretty clear for them to understand 😉
Post # 7
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
He did show me what kind of wedding band he’d like; it was completely out of the blue. He’s asked me what type of rings I’d like and a close friend of his just became engaged and he asked me if I liked the style of ring his friend gave his fiance. He’s asked me a few times what style I like and I’ve shown him photos. We pretty much have the same style. I was super inpatient when he first brought it up, but then I put it all in the back of my mind. BUT when he brings stuff like that up it’s so hard not to think about. I typically obsess for a day, then I’m fine.
Post # 8
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
For me it’s crystal clear – he’s planning to buy the ring that you’ll love! maybe he needs a big of encouragement? Like if you don’t want super expensive ring just tell him. Or you could tell him that the ring is only a symbol and you’re sure it’ll be perfect because he pick it 😉
Post # 9
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
I’m hoping so! I don’t want anything big or flashy…the isn’t as important as just being with him. I’d be totally fine without one. I’m just going to be patient and enjoy our time together, but if he does bring it up I’ll engage in conversation.
Post # 10
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
The answer to my timeline is ALWAYS soon! Last year it was soon. This year it might actually happen but is still “soon”. , but I might not get a ring until this summer
Post # 11
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
zcuriousbuzzybee: I totally understand. To us females, soon is almost instantaneous and their soon can be quite long by our standards. Just hang in there and spending less time on WB is actually a good way to hang in there. Dnt forget to drop by and give us updates or if u have a mini meltdown lol. We understand. I’ve been there 🙂
Post # 12
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
I got the complete opposite. I got the.. “Don’t expect a proprosal any time soon…” Oh my heart was broken.
I am very frank, and confrontational to a fault, so after I calmed down I asked him what soon was to him. Soon to him was a few weeks. I still didn’t like the feeling so I pressured him a little more and he told me that he didn’t want to propose until after his best friend was married because he didn’t want to steal any of their spotlight. Low and behold 5 days after their wedding he told me it was time to start ring shopping and that he wants to proprose after the first of the year.
So my advice is to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. Ask him when he thinks he would like to get engaged and when he thinks he would like to get married. Just promise yourself not to get mad at him if he is honest and the answer isn’t what you want to hear. It is easier to just know, otherwise you will just drive yourself crazy if you are anything like me =)
Post # 13
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
zcuriousbuzzybee: We were in a long(ish) distance relationship, and people were shocked when I left a great job to move in with him after we’d been together less than a year. Sure, I got some nasty comment. But those who knew us as a couple understood and supported us, and that’s all that matters. So congrats to you! Best of luck with you relationship and, especially, the waiting. As you said, it is so hard!!
