(Closed) I typed it out, took a picture, mailed it off, and they still don’t understand

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ugg thats why I hate facebook!! LOL No really you can’t say anything without someone using it against you. I can’t put that I am going out to dinner without someone saying oh you couldn’t make it to so and so bday party because you couldnt buy a present but you can go out to eat!?!? NO I choose not to spend my money buying so and so a present so I COULD go out to eat =) ok WAYYYYY off on topic but as I have seen people post stuff on there to make themselve look good. I love it when they talk about how awesome their life is but in reality it isnt.

 

OK now that I am done going on crazy about Facebook. It is wrong that they are telling you last minute that they can not afford to get the dresses and what not especially since you told them WAY in advance. I know the bridesmaid dress I choose was in the 200 price range ( I know really expensive but we agree the one that everyone loved) we will place the order in March of 2011 and we picked the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in Jan 2010 (we still love that dress). So they know they have plenty of time to save. Not only that they will order them in march and our wedding is in November. Plently of time to make payments. People should understand by now that when you are asked to be a bridesmaid it is going to cost money and you can say NO. they didnt say no and now they are complaining about the price of the dress well they should have gotten out earlier. 135 isnt a lot for a dress thats on the reasonable price range too.

**hugs** sorry your bridesmaids are being like this.

Post # 19
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Man. Laid back is my middle name. But people won’t let you be laid back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aarrgghhhh! They will FIND stuff to make you flip out and then call you difficult. LOL!

 

Deep breaths!

Post # 21
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

LOL!!!!

Post # 22
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Most people aren’t willing to admit that they’re having financial problems.  And, when she accepted, she may have been in a position where she was able to afford it.  Lots of things change in a short time, especially financially.  Maybe she’s in a money crunch … some extra bills came in to pay, a rate hike on electric or something.  You never know why people might be able to do something 6 months ago and can’t come up with the money now. 

You say they should’ve said no when you originally asked.  But, how would you feel if you were financially capable when someone asked you to stand up but you had your hours cut, or had to fix that leaking roof on your house that you didn’t expect to have to deal with and now you’re strapped for cash.  Things happen in life that can’t be predicted months from now nor controlled.  I’m sorry, but fixing a leaking roof or buying shoes that I need is going to take priority. 

And, how can you be sure that these people aren’t shopping for things they need?  If they have kids, they might be buying back to school clothes and supplies, paying school fees, etc. 

Sorry, but $100 on shoes I can wear every day is money better spent than a dress I can wear one time.  And, $135 is a lot to spend on a dress you’ll only wear once.  That’s probably how this person sees it.  And please don’t tell me she can go to Payless for their cheapola shoes that wear out in a week.

Best of luck to you!

Post # 25
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Lacrosse – that’s true, things change, but we must be adult enough to say “hey ‘trugem’, I’m having a really tough time right now and am unable to purchase x,y,z for the wedding”. Then you work out options. Maybe trugem could’ve fronted the money as a loan. Maybe it’s best if Bridesmaid or Best Man drops out. Who knows? But you don’t put the bride in a position of wondering/worrying if the bridal party is handling business. That’s not fair.

The wedding is about the bride & groom. We know not everyone is as excited as those two. HOWEVER, if you are in the bridal party, you are agreeing to do things their way. It’s unfortunate when some brides turn into bridezilla, but most are reasonable in their requests of the bridal party. If you don’t want to zip it and go along with it; don’t agree to be a part of the bridal party! Just say no!! If your financial situation changes, or something else in your life changes that doesn’t allow you to participate fully,  you should explain this clearly to the couple and back out.

Post # 27
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would be mad too!!! Im having similar issues and i think its ridiculous. These girls should be honored that they have been asked to be a part of such an important day. They should be willing to do anything to be there and make the planning easier for you…not cause you more stress by lying to you. And to post anything on facebook..???…STUPID. I have been in 5 weddings, and yes, it gets expensive. But its all worth it!

Post # 28
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I understand totally . The same thing happened to me and now we will not receive the bridesmaid dresses until 6 days before the wedding. I picked the braidsmaid dresses before I even started shoppiong for a dress for  myself and believe me it s not because of the price. so I finally told them when the dress shop  said tomorrow is the last day in order to get the dresses ,as it is a 12 week order. I told them . I had just resigned myself to the fact that I was only going to have 2 bridesmaid as only 2 had ordered their dresses. They all finally got there, 2 with an attitude but at this point. I am just like whatever. As long as my Fiance and My daughters are there thats all that matters….Chin up..It will be over soon…

Post # 30
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m going through the same thing! My BM’s are putting off ordering their dresses for my December wedding and it’s almost September! HELLO! haha okay sorry.

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