(Closed) I used to be you…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am not a waiting bee, but I just want to thank you for your story. I read so many waiting bee stores, and I hope your story helps many girls make the decision to walk or stay.

Congrats on all your life achievements as well. You sound very happy!

Post # 5
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Ah awesome story! Thank you for sharing πŸ˜€ And your message was a good one as well, but because you’ve obviously been there I think it comes across even more strongly as well.


I know that if I get to a certain point in our relationship then I will propose to him, because at that time I will just want to know I guess, no more discussions just one question. My mother did it so I’m sure I can do it as well πŸ™‚ And I’ll check in on what he’s thinking a little between now and then. I just don’t like the idea of leaving without trying everything I can, if it’s for something I want ^^

My BF is also the kind that only talks about important things when he is serious, so while it leaves me a little lost right now because he just isn’t thinking about it much (we’re young and poor so he’s not being completely unreasonable) if he ever does start talking about it then I can be sure he means it and it’s not empty words.


That said, I’m a pretty petty person so unfortunately the jealousy and insecurity is probably gunna be hanging around πŸ˜‰

Thank you again for your tale! Congratlations on making your life so much more awesome πŸ˜€

Post # 6
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

πŸ™‚ gooooood for you for “pulling your big girl panties and walking away”!!! Yay to happiness! 

Post # 7
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@Sunshine09:  Thank you for writing this….I am a former waiting bee….now happily engaged to my SO of 6.5 years….i know the feelings well, and i remember at certain pivotal points in our relationship questioning stay or go….and being lynched for it….because how could i really love him but think about leaving….and that meant i was just in it for a wedding not a marriage….and thats not it…some guys legitimately string you along…why because your comfy to them….and why change it when they can drop some hints and make vague excueses about why it cant be now….and women eat it up! because we are afraid that if we choose to leave for ourselves because we want marriage then we get torn up by other women esp doubting wether or not we really loved our SO….but sometimes you gotta do you to find your happy ending….and it dosent make you a wedding crazy hoe!! i can see it if maybe your saying that at 3 months….but after a few years i find it perfectly acceptable esp once your in your middle to late 20s…..

so again thank you….i always cringe when i read post on waiting boards where women who admitt they never had to wait and never were uncertain as to it comming come on here and acost women who they have no idea what they are going through…..3 months waiting on the ring to be done is different then 4 years of not knowing if he even wants marriage…..so thank you for writing your story….

Post # 9
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Sunshine09:  It’s so tough to be a girl in waiting. I got engaged on our 6th anniversary, and I was really anxiously waiting for about 1 year prior. I think it’s so hard to tell if your guy is stringing you along, or if he actually mean “wait, it’s coming”

My Fiance decided last August, he was going to propose on our anniversary in June….10 months before he did it! so, when he said “wait” he actually meant it, but at the time, it was so hard to know how serious he was.

Post # 10
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

What an inspiring, awesome story!! Congrats on your soon-to-be-coming new arrival! It’s so wonderful to see happy endings like this. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
3822 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sunshine09:  +1 Million.

This is my story too! I was with my exes for 6 years, 3 years, 4 years…and nothing. I met Fiance in June of last year and we’re getting married in 12 days. It feels like a dream…our relationship takes work but not the kind that wears you out. It’s rewarding work but there’s more joy and ease in our relationship than struggle. 

Well put.

Post # 12
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Great post!  I don’t think I ever realized how common this is until I started reading the bee.  I was with my ex for 8+ years (we started dating as teenagers).  While I never asked for a ring, he never seemed invested in “us”.  When I finally had enough and asked him, not for a ring, but to tell me that he wanted to fight for us, that I was the one for him… he couldn’t do it.  When I told him I was leaving him he tried to give me a last ditch effort proposal.  Yeah, needless to say, that didn’t work for me.  I’ve been dating my current SO for about 5 years.  Night and day.  My SO now is getting ready to propose simply because he loves me and wants to be with me.  I’ve never felt so loved before.  I’d also encourage any woman to walk away, no matter how long the relationship, if he isn’t anything but head over heels excited to be with you.

Post # 13
38 posts

So how do you get the courage to walk away when you thinkjoe’s stringing you along after 12 years of on again off again? I mean this was the man I wanted to be with, to grow old with…I even proposed to him on SadieHawkins day.  He said sure….then we neverdiscussed marriage again. When I bring it up, it’s a fight.  I even moved out after 3 years.  I should have cut all ties then and I did..until he contacted me.

So now were basically back to where we started except I don’t live with him.  Everything is comfortable for him while I wait..

Post # 14
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Thank you for sharing your story! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
38 posts

My one friend tells me that all the time..she says that he will throw me a bread crumb and Itake it, he picks up the phone and I go running, he holds my hand and it is everything to me.  

Snice we don’t geta lot of time together I just want to be with him…no matter what..and I guess heknows that.

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