(Closed) I Vivian Needs help….

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
773 posts
Busy bee

Right now, you have over a year until your wedding date.  That leaves you plenty of time to figure all these things out.  Right now, instead of freaking out, you need to figure out exactly what your priorities are.


When we first got engaged, if I assailed my fiance with tons of wedding related questions/information, he would just shut down because he literally cannot think about more than one thing at a time.  Your fiance is probably "ignoring" you because he’s overwhelmed and figures he has plenty of time.


Also, from your other posts, it seems like he is stuck between what you want and what his family wants.  Put yourself in his shoes- the woman he loves and the family he loves want exactly opposite things and he is stuck in the middle.


I would recommend that you start with step 1: make a list of your priorities.  Don’t try to plan out your entire wedding.  Just think of the five things that are the most important for you.  For example:

1. Small size

2. Nice cake

3. Outdoors

4. In house catering

5. Open bar

You get the idea.  Once you’ve figured out what your priorities are you can start with ONE thing at a time and talk to your fiance about it.    Don’t present it as a battle between you and his family.  Try to figure out ways to compromise.


Planning is a long process and you don’t have to figure everything out in the first month of your engagement.  Move slowly, and take time to enjoy being engaged and also to work on your communication and compromising skills with your fiance.  And keep in mind that you have to deal with his family forever, so you might not want to completely ignore their wishes now.

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