(Closed) I walked.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@jk1:  Hell yea, well done! It feels so good getting out of a relationship you know isn’t working, and trust me, the dating scene is waaaaaaay fun ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 4
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mad props for your fantastic attitude!  Congratulations are certainly due for honoring and respecting yourself.

Best of luck going forward!

Post # 5
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m not a stalker but I went back and read your threads to gain some insight before replying. I know this was a hard choice, but are so smart to move on now. You say are 35 and want kids, so you know your time is precious.

Tick-tick goes the clock. Good for you for taking action to get what you want while you still have time to meet someone else who wants the same thing. You sound like the kind of person who can make that happen.

Post # 6
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Congratulations! On being true to yourself

Post # 7
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If it was for the best, it was for the best!  Keep up the good attitude ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What an amazing attitude! You sound like a strong woman with a beautiful future in front of her and the courage to go after it. So proud of you and I hope other ladies are inspired by your post! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@jk1:  congratulations.  it takes a very strong woman to recognize and then act on this.  good for you.  it is not easy, i know.  bottomline, you deserve to be happy.  you’re right, it is a victory.

Post # 10
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hi I know I’m only new and all, I gather he doesn’t want a family? I am 34, I met my fiancée last year via a dating website. On my profile I wrote at the bottom something like “I don’t want a guy who already has children, I want a guy who wants to start a family”. I messaged a guy, he read my message and profile and replied. Today he told me he wanted to marry me, have a family and buy our own house. I believe in being truthful as to what you want right from the start. I went out with a guy for five years who wouldn’t commit then spent the next 4 years getting over him. Waste of 9 years of my life. You still have time. 

Post # 11
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Good for you!

Post # 12
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

it takes a lot of strength and patience, but in the end you always know you’re right. way to go girl! the future obviously holds better things for you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
811 posts
Busy bee

I admire your strength and your honesty. I wish you much luck and happiness in the future ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hi jk1,

I’ve read about your religious beliefs in some of your previous threads, so I’m not sure if this is something you’d be willing to do, but let me tell you what helped ME immensly when I broke up with an ex when I was in a previous relationship.  For short background, I dated someone for almost 7 years, from the age of 23 until 29 1/2 or so.  I would not say I was ever in the “waiting” category, exactly, because I used to fancy myself being “not the marrying type”–hindsight tells me this is because I was with the wrong man–but I didn’t know that at the time.  All I knew is that neither one of us was particularly interested in marriage and at that age, I felt like I had a lot of time.

But when we broke up–I was almost 30, and it was like I *finally* realized that maybe, just maybe, I would want to marry and/or have kids one day. So, I decided I would not wait on a man to make that happen for me.  I have too many female friends who are my age, desperately want to get married/get a house/have kids, in that order, and ASAP.  And in spite of the fact that they are great girls, that desperation just radiates off them and I think it honestly scares most men away.  Even if they are men who want to settle down.  I didn’t want to go down that road.  So I decided I would make the life I wanted to have–on my own.  I love kids and knew I wanted kids in SOME capacity, but I wasn’t set on having my own biologival children.  So, I decided at the age of 30 to start my adult life–without a man!  In less than 1 year, I finished grad school, got a raise, bought a house, and prepped my family that I was going to look into adoption/fostering as soon as I had enough money saved to be a single parent.

I think this decision reallllly helped me (emotionally, and mentally) to stop focusing on men as a means to my adult life.  I dated, but really just for fun–no one I would consider marrying–but I had a blast!  I rediscovered that people think I’m attractive, I realized that being with a guy I felt so-so about was not something I was willing to do, and that I would rather have a full life “alone” than with a guy that wasn’t just right. I cultivated an awesome group of friends who were my age (and older, and younger) and I did things like yoga, I traveled, I baked.  I basically had an amazing year 1/2.

And then I met my now fiance.  Funny how these things work. As soon as I figured out my own future, he came along and “messed it up”, and now I’m living in another state halfway across the US, planning a wedding, looking for a job, and am blissfully happy.

But I would have also been happy stayng there, in my little house, “alone”, adopting a kid.  I really don’t think there’s one path to happiness.

And maybe there’s a different path for you, too.

Post # 15
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@jk1:  I am very very proud of you. You did something I was never able to do because I was weak and didn’t love or believe in myself. Jeeze I’m tearing up just writing this…

I agree that this is right for you, and that happiness is just more than marriage and the love of a man. My mammaw has a dear childhood friend who never got married or had kids but she’s one of the most loved people and she’s very happy. 

Best of luck to you Ms.jk1, I know you’re no longer a “waiting” bee but don’t be a stanger, I’d like to hear how you’re doing! 


Miss T-Rex


Post # 16
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Good work – glad you are doing well and at peace with your decision. Wishing you the best of luck with the next phase of your life

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