I Want a Baby, But Things Aren't Lining Up…

posted 3 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

Nanny! Love on some other person’s baby for now until you can get where you want to be before hand. Even just a few hours a week of tiny human snuggles could help!

Hopefully fertility issues are not a struggle for you guys and his prior health doesn’t affect your plans! Good luck with the move!

Post # 4
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

nycoleman :  I did that for a while, until I had a niece and nephew, now I just nanny for them and spoil them! 

I had good times helping nurses on overnight shifts when child care is hard to find. You get lots of snuggles on overnights 🙂

 

Post # 5
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

nycoleman :  I’m with you, Bee.

We got married in May and I also got struck with immense baby fever. I am 30 and my DH will be 36 next week. We are on a three year plan right now. Aiming for a birth in 2020. The wait is killing me already but it doesn’t make sense to start trying just yet. Except for my declining fertility. Tick. Tock.

I am going to be a first year teacher starting next month, and I’ve signed a 3 year contract with the district to stay. We just bought our first home and had a wedding in the same month so our savings are not as strong as I’d like them to be before a baby. And most striking is my DH is going up for tenure in two years, so we don’t want to start trying until we know we are staying in this area. I’d hate to have to sell the house and move while pregnant or with a little babe.  I know it’s not the hardest thing.

I just want a baby!!!

Post # 6
Member
3748 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Can your DH just go for a sperm analysis?? Even if you have to pay out of pocket I don’t think it is horribly expensive (less than $300). It might be worth it for peace of mind or to mentally prepare for what is to come! This was our first step when we had trouble TTC. 

Post # 7
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I feel ya Bee! We’re just hitting our 30s, married, with good salaries and my body is RAGING for a baby. The problem is that I just started a new job and the hours won’t calm down  for at least 2-3 years. We’re hoping to be able to start TTC end of next year but it feels ages away!!

uuuugh. Hormones are the worst!

Post # 8
Member
8030 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i recommend he get a sperm analysis done.  his regular doctor should be able to prescribe it.  otherwise see a urologist.  even OOP, it shouldn’t be too expensive. 

DH had one done with his doctor, then a urologist, then when we went to the RE, they wanted to do their own.  it was all covered by our insurance.  we have no treatment coverage, but it does cover testing.

then you will have an idea of where you stand.

Post # 9
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2018

No trying to be a Debbie Downer, my fiance just turned 40 so he has baby fever as well (had it before we got together – he LOOOOVES the short people), but adding another lifechanging and stressful event on top of at least three others – study, relocation, finances – is maybe not the recipe for success. Move, settle into the house and school and then reassess. If you can’t afford the medical test to see if it is even possible, you can’t afford everything you need for a healthy pregancy and birth. It’s absolutely no fun stressing about money and you will want to be rested, calm and happy when you are pregnant. Set a timeline, build a nest egg and enjoy this next phase of your life in a new town and school

Post # 10
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You sound JUST like my close friends friends 3/4 years ago. Her DH too had lukemia as a child and has been cancer free since around 16. I would go get him tested ASAP – they found out around 23/24 that his sperm count was so low it would be practically impossible to concieve naturally. What this did was made them #1 realize how much they wanted to have kids (even though everything in their life wasn’t exactly ready) and #2 helped them to start saving for IVF that they would do in a few years. After that appointment they decieded there was no use in using condoms anymore since their chances were so low. They ended up getting pregnant naturally a year later (a true miracle) and were THRILLED. Because of their circumstances, family and friends showered them with everything they needed. They had been so open about how they may not be able to have children that this baby was loved on something serious. A year and a half afer their miracle baby they found out they had again concieved naturally and were also thrilled. They are now both 29 with two kids, each finished a masters degree and wouldn’t change a thing. 

Post # 11
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would go get a sperm analysis done for your husband.  I don’t see any reason for him to sit there for 5 years wondering about his fertility if it can be easily checked.  And that will give you important facts to help you realistically plan for the future.  

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