(Closed) I want a puppy, husband doesn't….

posted 6 years ago in Pets
Post # 32
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

At first I didn’t want one but he did. Take in mind I grew up with chihuahuas and he wanted a german shepherd. I was a little terrified and plus I never knew how to raise a HUGE dog. he took me to see them and I couldn’t say no to a puppy. We now both take care of him. My SO’s schedule alternates so he can work mornings some days or nights other days. So who ever gets home first takes care of him.

I could see his point of view though. they are alot of work! I would give it some time and maybe he will come through. good luck.

Post # 33
Member
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mm86:  Darling Husband and I love dogs, but he didn’t want a St. Bernard. I told him even early on in our relationship I will want one later on and I wasn’t going to waste my time getting onvolved with a guy who wouldn’t be open to getting one if we had adequate space for it. Anyone can judge me all they want, but I wanted my wishes known up front.

He agreed depending on if we had the space. For a guy that initially didn’t want one, he sure has taken a strong liking to our Saint 🙂

Now, I would say in your situation if he doesn’t like dogs, don’t just go out and get one. Puppies/dogs are like kids (needed to be cared for) and you should both agree.

Post # 34
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My husband (then BF) wasn’t really a dog person but we had talked about getting one when we were dating and he was on the “wait” side. Then eventually he brought up that we could go ahead and get one. Now he treats her like she’s our actual baby haha. I will say I do most of the “work” as far as important stuff like vet appts, food/water/baths but he loves on her plenty. 

I think one important thing for him to realize is not all dogs are the same. Most dogs don’t stink if you take care if them well and if they’re trained obviously they don’t jump on everybody.

Also…with a litterbox I think cats are smellier than dogs so if he loves the cat I don’t get that reasoning. 

As far as how much work a dog is…I think it’s unfair to not have any more pets if you aren’t having children. You will have lots of time to train it, especially since you have summers off. 

I’d just wait until you’re in your house to discuss it again. Tell him it’s important to you and you want one eventually but you’re willing to wait to talk about it until it’s an actual option.

Post # 35
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mm86:  I was friends with my fiance before we ever dated, and he briefly dated a girl who was TERRIFIED of dogs, I mean terrified, even little ones, couldn’t be near them. And even then I was like “What is wrong with you, you can’t be with someone who won’t have a dog, all you want in life is a dog.”

 

When we did get together but were long distance for a long time, “What kind of dog should we get” was a frequent topic of conversation. I never would have dated him in the first place if he didn’t want a dog- children are negotiable for me, but animals are not.

 

And now we have two of the most wonderful, spoiled dogs in existence, a lab mix and a rottweiler. I picked them both as puppies (with his agreement, of course, but they were the ones I wanted) but I will be honest and say he does the lion’s share of the work. And correspondingly, they love him the most (they still love me plenty, I mean, they’re dogs… but they are total daddy’s girls).

 

But dogs are a 24/7 thing, so when he’s not home, I still do a lot of care- walking, vet appointments, playing, cleaning up after them. They’re so much more work than cats. And there is no such thing as getting a dog and one person in a house being solely responsible for it- even when I’ve been just roommates with someone with a dog that was in no way my responsibility, there are times when basic human decency required me to step in and take them out, feed and water them, or clean up their mess. So make sure he’s 100% on board before you get a dog- if he agrees because he’s under the impression it will be “your dog”, he may wind up resentful.

Edited to add- Actual thing I am overhearing from the living room right now: My fiance talking to the rottweiler puppy in a goofy voice, asking her “Who has a tum? YOUUUU have a tum! Who’s got a tum? YOOOOOU have a tum!” Aaaaah I die.

 

Post # 36
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I sympathise… I have the exact same problem!

Post # 39
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mm86:  What if there is a compromise?

A boxer puppy: energetic breed, large dog, puppies are insane. (I have a young Labrador retriever. She was a crazy puppy.) 

Compromise: an older rescue dog. 5 or 6 years old would be good. It’s calmed down, you can get one with a personality and energy level that suits you. Already house broken etc.

Darling Husband and I both wanted a dog. I wanted to go with the adult dog rescue, maybe an old dog. Darling Husband wanted a lab puppy. I compromised and we got a puppy because I figured it would just grow into the old dog that I wanted. Luckily we both wanted the animal, I gave him a nudge with many puppy pictures though. We both take care of her.

 

 

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