I want a small wedding but have a huge family!

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Courtney7 :  I think it is not wise to do A list for the ceremony/dinner and B for the reception.  I would just skip the dance reception and call it a day.  I can’t imagine who I wouldn’t want at my ceremony but would want at a dance reception.  The whole point of a wedding is the ceremony.  Are you trying to save money on not buying dinner for all the guests?


Post # 3
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

1. No

2. No

Post # 4
6513 posts
Bee Keeper

Are you in the US? Is this possible dance reception happening the same day? If yes to both, a big no-no. 

Have the small wedding you want. With the money you save you can purchase all the things you would have received at the big shower. Let your family plan a family reunion. 

Post # 5
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

1. Tiered receptions are acceptable in the UK but that’s about it, so if you don’t live in the UK, don’t do this. It makes people feel like you think they are good enough to buy you a present but not good enough to be hosted for the actual wedding reception (you know, the part that costs money).

2. No one should be invited to pre-wedding events that isn’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

Stick with your small guest list regardless of the size of your families. Weddings cost money and to host those people will cost you a lot if you listen to your family and try to accomodate them and invite everyone. If you haven’t spoken to or see people on a regular basis then you probably shouldn’t invite them to the wedding.


<div class=”img_cont hoff”>Image result for how to determine who makes your wedding guest list</div>
<div class=”img_info hon”> </div>
<div class=”img_info hon”>If you invite them to the ceremony invite them to the reception. Look at it this way the cost of the wedding per person can be very expensive taking all things into consideration from decor, venue and food you could be looking at $50pp and up. This also depends on the city you get married in as well. So make sure you don’t let people talk you into doing something by inviting people you don’t know or have seen in 1+ years.</div>
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Post # 7
131 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t really see a problem with having a small ceremony one day with immediate family and friends, and then inviting more people to the reception. People want to say they care about the wedding, but most don’t – only immediate family. Eveybody would rather go to the reception, at least that’s what I’ve seen every time I’ve gone to a wedding.

Post # 8
5071 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

1. No, not appropriate

2. Anyone you invite to the shower should also be invited to the ceremony/reception

Also, through my wedding planning experience (which was not linear) I found whats most important is to put yourself (groom included) first.  Don’t be a people pleaser.  If you are not comfortable with having a huge wedding, compromise on a small wedding.  If you are not comfortable with a small wedding, elope.

Post # 10
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

it’s more and more common to elope and then have a party afterwards, and i’ve even see people have a private ceremony and everyone come at the reception – which doesn’t make sense to me cuz you’re not saving any money sealed and one of the reasons we have weddings is to have our loved ones be witnesses. My husband has a much larger family than me and his family is all in town and i was worried about having a very imbalanced wedding with a ton of his fam and literally 15 members from mine. i put my foot down, said 100 guests total, and we split it down the middle. his mom was not happy about not being able to invite everyone, but it was my mom helping pay for the wedding.

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