(Closed) I want a wedding party- not a "reception"

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 32
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MichiganGirl24:  Sounds like a reception to me. A reception can be anything that you want it to be.

We skipped all of those thngs and I still consider it a reception. We had a cake but no offical cake cutting and we didn’t even do photos whilst making guests wait. We just took some group photos and had everyone involved for about 30 mins.

My general rule of thumb is that if a wedding article/magazine or website tells you to do something, especially if there is a cost invlived, then you probably really don;t need to do it.

As long as you are a good host and think about your guests comfort then go wild and do whatever you want.

Post # 33
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MichiganGirl24: FI and I would have loved to have just had a huge informal party in our backyard instead of a formal reception, but we have too many people and we already booked a place . We are trying to keep it more “party-like” by having a buffet instead of a plated dinner and we arent doing favors we are still doing the garter/bouquet toss and the first dance though. We also arent going to do any of those dollar dance things and what not. We could both do without the father/daughter and mother/son dances, but Future Mother-In-Law and my dad would be pissed if they didn’t get to dance with us.

Post # 34
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I guess we kind of had half a “traditional” reception.

We did not have favors.

We did not have a formal cake cutting.

We did have a first dance at DH’s insistance; halfway through the song we did the father/daughter and mother/son dances at the same time, then we did something non-traditional and had our parents come out and dance.

No garter or bouquet toss.

No dollar dance, but our culture doesn’t do it anyway.

Our reception was held in the private room of a restaurant, so we had a sit down dinner and we made a makeshift dance floor.  My Brother-In-Law provided the music via his ipod.  The reception ended at 11 then we went to the hotel where most of our out of town guests were staying and partied in the bar area until around 1 am (that’s when we left – I heard many people stayed later than that!)

Post # 35
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We got married in a very small (24 guest) Friday night wedding.  On Saturday we had a big party for 120 guests that did not resemble a wedding reception in any way.  (we didn’t have any elements from your. “don’t want list.”)   It was an awesome party, no regrets whatsoever. 

Post # 36
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

@CarolinaCola:  The only kind of dancing I will do is a nice slow dance with my SO, which is exactly the reason why we will probably not have a DJ, and will most likely just do our first dance and then play some music with no intentions of dancing to it. We don’t really like dancey type of music anyway, so it’ll just be there for the ambiance. 

A few years ago SO and I attended a wedding of one of our HS friends. They called out all of the single ladies for the bouquet toss, which I was trying to avoid to begin with, but I have IBS, and I guess the food made me sick considering it was room temperature and probably not safe to eat. I was making a beeline for the bathroom when some random woman DRUG me out on the dance floor, so I could look like an idiot while they played single ladies and made everyone dance. I just stood in the middle of the group not moving. It’s just NOT my thing.

Post # 37
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@beetee123:  Oh my lordddd. Yeah, that sounds humiliating and annoying. And we’re doing the same thing with the music at our wedding. No DJ, just nice Sinatra-esque background music for dinner.

Post # 38
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree, you should do what you want.  We are doing a mix of tradition and non-traditional.  We are doing the bouquet and garter because my fiance wants it (we’re doing a little bit of a twist on the garter toss anyway), we aren’t really doing a mother/son or father/daughter dance since my fiance’s mom passed away many years ago as did both of my parents.  We will only have a small cake with the rest cupcakes so it’s not some formal cake cutting ceremony, our first dance is going to be cut short and then we’ll invite our guests to join us.  I have an 11 year old son and I am going to dance with him because for the past 7 years it’s just been the two of us, this is an opportunity to share a little moment with him…but again, we aren’t going to just sway to the music for 4 minutes, it’ll start out with a sentimental dance to “You are my sunshine” (a song that has special meaning) and then partway through we’ll be switching gears to a funky dance song and he’s going to do a little break dance.  😉  While there are points of traditional wedding “stuff” we are just focusing on celebrating with our family and friends and having fun.  Do what fits YOU!  My baker told me that she wishes she would have been true to herself and not allowed family to pressure her to have a certain type of wedding….do what you are comfortable with.

Post # 39
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would defintely class ours as a reception, as we did lots of traditional things, but we also didn’t want something stodgy, but something that was rip-roaring fun.  It was, basically, the party I’ve always wanted to go to, but never existed anywhere.  Food was buffet style, and passed hors d’oeuvres, and we rented out a bar, so seating was “grab a chair wherever there is one at the moment.”  We did a first dance, but none of the others.  But I didn’t want a slow dance; we cut a rug to Sing Sing Sing, played by our live swing band.  We did a cake, cake cutting, and boquet toss, but all of those traditional things were kept short and sweet, and we just let people enjoy the great party we planned for them.

Post # 40
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MichiganGirl24:  We lucked out! A friend does pig roasts on the side and has the equipment. $7/per for all the pork they can eat, corn and potatoes. Mother-In-Law and friends are providing various side dishes and we will have two kegs of beer and soda.I am buying the plates and such in bulk. And the venue is a HUGE picnic ground with covered pavilions, rest rooms, a kitchen, bar area, softball and volleyball fields and horseshoe pits. This place is big enough for 500 guests but we are only expecting about 150.And the venue is $250 for all day and night!

Post # 41
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@peachacid:  Why not just go the JOP route. Technically anyone who’s done this isn’t that unique, you still had a wedding.

Post # 42
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We are having more of a party than what I would consider a reception….but we are getting married in a campsite and our “after wedding get together” with a s’mores bar and bonfire are in the next campsite over. Soooo….I’m not sure if that really would count as a reception anyhow since it’s not a “traditional” wedding venue.

Post # 43
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

@MichiganGirl24:  omg this is exactly what i am/was planning!! I’m getting so much grief over it I’m thinking of just eloping!

I don’t want formal speeches, or first dances! i had planned a private ceremony with just imediate family followed by drinks reception, canapes and then a BBQ meal with DJ and dancing.

Apprently we’re not allowed to that! grrrrrrrrrrrr

Post # 44
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

just to add i want no bridesmais either ha ha my mother asked me why do we want to get married at all!!

Post # 45
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As long as you have a seat for your every guest to comfortably eat their BBQ and dessert you should be fine. I will say having a seating chart is one of the most considerate things a host can do. Otherwise peiple steal chairs and tables/ guests are left half empty causing traffic flow issues and people looking a little lonely.

Are you planning to play dance music from the moment the reception begins?  

Post # 46
Hostess
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Our reception will be a mix of reception & party, we are doing a VERY short first dance, I’m talking like 30 seconds tops, and then lead it into the generation dance. Last couple to enter the dance floor [longest together] gets a prize.

We ARE doing favors, but in candy/dessert buffet form, so I think that’s a little more fun than a box of chocolates or some crappy matches.

We are having an open bar and nothing says “party” like open containers!

We ARE doing bouquet/garter toss and cake cutting.

Dollar dances will happen as well because it’s a traditional thing.

We are having a very non-formal outdoor seating area for guests to get some fresh air, photo booth & cigar bar.

We are also having a late night nacho bar snack for our guests to soak up all the alcohol in their tummies.

Overall, we are going for lots of fun.

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