- 7 years ago
I want to talk about the taboo topic on these boards.
It seems to me (and I could be wrong) that the general relationship status for the people on this board is happiness, flowers, and sunshine. While I will say, as a whole, my relationship is great; however, we still have our issues.
Don’t get me wrong, my guy is great. He is not abusive, doesn’t have any addictions, doesn’t hide things from me or do too much that I don’t particularly care for (except his lack of desire to clean, but hey, I pick my battles), and we have communication that I would classify as above average. Plus all the other goodies…we enjoy eachothers company, we’re best friends, we share the same values, you get the idea…
Lately, and I mean in the past few months, we’ve been in a “rut.” Tension has been a little higher and we’ve generally been unhappy. He’s been SUPER busy, I’ve been left alone at home, sex is lacking, I’ve questioned whether or not we really have that much in common, whether our lifestyles fit, etc…
Now…I come on WB for advice most of the time, and usually I get a variety of fairly decent answers. However, whenever I post something even hinting about any kind of unhappiness or relationship trouble, I feel as if people come out guns blazin’. Everyone is so quick to say there may be “deeper issues,” that we should get counseling, that if we have problems this early we shouldn’t get married, etc… My point is, even the slightest bit of unease or dissatisfaction gets the diagnosis of a doomed relationship.
I will admit that it’s a bit frustrating that I can’t find a single person on this board that might be going through the same thing. I feel like no one wants to admit it. Almost as if everyone’s too scared to come out of their fairytales and say, “Hey, yeah, It kinda sucks right now!”
I want to talk about the lows in a relationship! I want to talk about the times you almost walked out! I want to talk about your “questioning” and frustrations. I want to talk about the ruts, the valleys, the downturns! Seriously people, let’s get real for a moment! Someone please tell me that I’m not the only one whose gone through this in their relationship, because I refuse to believe it. If relationships REALLY WERE happiness, flowers, and sunshine all the time, then the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high.
So….what have been your frustrations? How long did it last? And more importantly, how did you get through it?