(Closed) i want mama to cook our food…

posted 8 years ago in Food
  • poll: hire caterering company or "hire" mama + fam
    stick with the catering company... mama should be a guest! : (35 votes)
    78 %
    mama knows best... : (10 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I think the women in your family; especially your mom, should just be guests. Having them cook that much food would, in my opinion, be more of a burden than an honor. I would go with the catering company. That way the catering will take care of the cooking, set up, cleaning, glassware, utensils, dinnerware, etc.

    Post # 4
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would just have a caterer.  Honestly, if the food is good enough, that’s fine.  I think that having your family members cook for your wedding would be more of a stress than an honor like noritake said.

    Post # 5
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    My Fiance is insistent on cooking all the food for our wedding (he’s a chef), but I would much rather hire a caterer.  I would rather him relax for the wedding and enjoy himself.  But knowing him, he hates all food prepared by other people because it could just be “this much better.”  At least he has a restaurant kitchen at his disposal (old boss back home), but I can’t imagine doing that kind of work.  I’m hoping he changes his mind as we get closer to the wedding.

    I would let your momma rest and be a guest.

    Post # 6
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I have seen many a “friendor” lose it over stress on the wedding day and I dont ever recommend it unless they are skilled in the area you are hiring them for. There is a lot of skill that comes with cooking for that many people- cooking well on equipment that is unfamiliar to you, serving the guests, keeping the food hot and getting it out in a timely manner…I just think that is too much for your poor mama! I say hire a caterer and let her relax on the day of and enjoy it along side you! Plus kind of crappy that you have to pay the venue to bring in outside food! Thats a bummer!

    Post # 7
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    I can speak from experience and say that anyone in the kitchen at any time will miss the entire wedding. They won’t be able to enjoy any of it as a guest since they will be tied to the kitchen during the ceremony and after dinner.

    If you still want your mom to cook, make sure it can all be frozen and reheated later, then have a group of college students or extended family friends who would not be attending otherwise (whom you hire for a small fee) heat, serve and clean up so that your family can sit back and enjoy the wedding. If that isn’t negotiable, ask your favorite restaurant to cater since they are cheaper and have better food than most caterers.

    Post # 8
    3166 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    same problem! the venue i love requires sole catering (grumble grumble) and my Future Mother-In-Law works as a caterer! so i’m either going to have to go with a place i love and pay more for their catering (and possibly slight FMIL???) or go with a lesser place and she can cater (not literally herself, just her company). ugh. the $10pp fee is pretty ridiculous imho – why does everyone always try and screw us brides???

    Post # 9
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    can you talk to the catering company and ask if they will serve 1-2 dishes that your mom cooks in advance and delivers to them that morning? i have known others who have done this so it’s not unheard of. you’d still be paying the full catering fee, but you’d get a little extra and be able to have the great food that your mom cooks without having her tied to the kitchen all day.

    Post # 10
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    This is kinda tough but I think you need to think about what is going to be the biggest burden.  First of all, are you really saving that much money by having your mom and family members cook food?  I would guess you still have to buy all the food and serving dishes etc.  Also, how much extra time and stress is this going to cause?  It really may not be worth the burden.  

    Their caterers at $50 pp times 100 guests would be 5,000 plus tax and gratuity you are up to $6,500 or so.  

    If your mom does the cooking I would guess you would have to pay at least $10 pp for food so roughly $1,000 plus any other equipment/supplies you may need.  Plus the $10 pp for the venue.  I would guess it still would end up costing you $2,500 to cook yourself.  


    Post # 11
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    Agree with previous posters that time and stress are equal to money as well.

    While the venue may allow outside catering, countless places do not allow homemade food at all as it does not come from a licensed kitchen and therefore is a violation of health dept restrictions that the venue is not willing to get involved in. If someone does get sick due to improper cooking (when cooking for a large crowd, it is quite easy to undercook food which is dangerous) or food left sitting out longer than it should, etc, the couple would be held fully responsible and many couples in that case refuse to claim such responsibility. To abide by the laws enforced by the health dept, the venue is doing what they can to protect themselves and the clients’ guests. So while it may seem as though “they are out to get you”, they are really looking out for your best interests to make sure nothing bad does happen which lands everyone in hot water.

    Post # 13
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    It’s such a busy, special day. I think it’s a good choice to let her relax and enjoy the day with you!

    Post # 14
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It would cost you more than $10 pp if your family cooks, because yo udidn’t factor in the cost of the food.

    Also I agree that your family should be guests, not caterers. But it’s really up to what YOU want.

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