(Closed) I want my two best friends to be bridesmaids but they HATE each other! :(

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My best friend had two bridesmaids who didn’t like each other. Theirs was a similar situation in that they all used to be friends, had a falling out, and never really mended the relationship. Everything turned out fine in the end.

If both of these women are important to you, ask them. They’re adults, and hopefully will have the grace and maturity to be around each other without causing any drama or awkwardness for your sake. Part of being an adult is being able to remain cordial to people you may not necessarily like.

Post # 4
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Avoid any potential for a tantrum or immaturity. You just don’t need the drama! You will ahve enough to deal with and don’t need that extra headache. If you read the boards here, you will find plenty of Bees dealing with maidzillas!

Post # 5
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow I was in the EXACT situation as you! I had two best friends who hated each other. One of them was great about it, the other one (the “scorned” one) couldn’t have a conversation with me without bringing up how much she hated the other girl. I couldn’t take it anymore and told her that she couldn’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she was going to act this way on my day. Without going into a long long story, the scorned Bridesmaid or Best Man has blocked me on facebook and hasn’t talked to me in 9 months. Some people will find drama anywhere and will always make it about them. If you want to keep your sanity, choose one! If you really want your friend to be Maid/Matron of Honor then I don’t think you should include the other girl. You’re just asking for trouble, sorry :

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If you want reliable bridesmaids who will help you with planning, destressing, etc., I’d look elsewhere or come to terms with the idea of not having them at all.

if you love these two girls and want honor them by having them to be part of your day (stand by you, etc), but don’t expect anything big of them, I’d ask them. Speak to them both about your concerns separately and ask if they can put aside their differences to help you celebrate.

Whatever you do, figure out what you want & your expectations first. Then talk to them, explaining your expectations, then ask them.

Post # 8
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you need to sit down with each of them individually and let them know you’d like them to stand up with you on your wedding day, but only if they can bury the hatchet for the duration of your planning, then if they still want to hate each other after the day, by all means go ahead.  Just let them know how much they both mean to you, and how you’d be really disapointed if they couldn’t do this for you.  If one of them isn’t being mature about it, she’s likely to cause bother and I wouldn’t have her in the party.

Sorry I know this is tough, good luck x

Post # 9
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I think you are going to end up running interference with these two if you have them both.  You should probably make a choice between them or have neither.  Otherwise, I have a feeling that one or both are going to be giving you an earful for the next year and a half until your wedding…

I AM one half of two people who don’t care for each other but used to be friends – and our mutual bestie expects us to suck it up when she gets married someday.  I will, maybe the other girl will too – but either way it is going to be awkward.

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