(Closed) I want one wedding, my family is insisting for two

posted 5 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
3402 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@nooraalj:  I would only agree to the one.

If that is all you want, that is all that should matter.

You’re mom is going to be mad, but ultimately you will be making the best decision for both you and your mom since either of you has money growing on a tree out back lol.

Post # 4
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@nooraalj:  If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to say no to your Mom. If you and your husband don’t show up, she really can’t have a wedding.

To make her happy, you could plan for a celebration to be held here on your one year anniversary.


Post # 5
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

I have decided to only have one wedding in Japan after initially considering another back in the Uk becausr due to work we haveno idea when we could bothgo to the uk together. Although it looks like only 4 of my family members can make it, I’m happy with my choice . I say stick to your guns!

Post # 6
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

ps sorry for typos- on mobile 🙂

Post # 7
32 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say stick with one wedding, if that’s what you want.  Mr. and I are getting married in Slovakia, which means pretty much none of my extended family will be able to come. We’re planning a Canadian ‘reception’ with aunts and uncles, etc., which will happen at some un-decided point, probably at least 6 months after the wedding.  

It’s really generous of your mother of offer to pay for another wedding, but just because she wants something and is happy to pay for it, that doesn’t obligate you to go along with it.

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe you could have the wedding in Jordan and then some kind of celebration/blessing in the USA for those friends and relatives who are unable to attend the Jordan wedding. 

Post # 9
2 posts

I totally understand your situation I am in a similar one, stick with what makes you happy as long as your immediate family memebers are present thats all that matters. People will have their opinions but they got to live their lives and have their dream wedding now its your turn, congrats i hope everything goes well.

Post # 10
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You have a choice. I would having your wedding in Jordan but have a party in the US for your extended family to compromise. Or if your mom is this crazy already, you might want to steer clear of giving her any power. 

Post # 11
48 posts

I second what AlwaysSunny said! I am also excited to hear your are going to Jordan. I lived on the other side of the Jordanian river, in the West Bank, for 10 years. It’s hard to ignore family demands, but probably best if you stick with what works for you and your future husband. 

Post # 12
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Listen, let your mom know that it is IMPOSSIBLE to have two weddings. When you get married in Jordan, you’ll be married. Done deal. There is no such thing as a “second wedding”. What she can do – is host a celebration of your marriage. Also known as an “at home reception”. Not a wedding. So, you can allow her to host this for you and let her do her own thing, but let her know that you cannot contribute but you’d be happy to have her host this party for you. Or… you can let he rknow you don’t feel its appropriate and you won’t be able to attend. 

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