(Closed) I want the kids to have my last name…

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i’ve thought about it, i didn’t change my name. no kids for us yet.

 

you birthed ’em, he can name the ones he gives birth to.

Post # 4
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

How does your Darling Husband feel about it? I firmly believe both parents have equal rights in the naming regardless of who does the birthing.

If your Darling Husband is against it, is there any way you could hyphen the last names for any future children?

Post # 5
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If your husband is on board with doing it that way, who cares what Future Father-In-Law thinks.  

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If you fiance is on board then who cares about your FFIL? This will all be taking place after the wedding anyway I’m assuming and by that time you guys are a married couple/family. He doens’t need to like it but he does have to respect it. Your fiance can see to that.

Post # 8
Member
2617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

You’re right, your Future Father-In-Law shouldn’t have a say in this, but your FH should!  What compromises are you making if he doesn’t like this idea?  Will the boy get his last name & the girl get yours?  Will he get to pick out the first name?

I don’t have any problem with how you two change your names , but rather that I stronglybfeel that regardless who carries & births the child that BOTH PARENTS should get an equal say in THEIR child.  But of course, that’s just my opinion ..& you asked what I thought ;]

Post # 9
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@AdriannaJean:  Then definately go with whatever the two of you decide. Future Father-In-Law will have to get over it.

Post # 10
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If your husband is alright with it then go for it.

However, I don’t think that just because you carried the child and made choices regarding your career and education that you’re not happy now gives you an upperhand or more of a say than your husband. Why not hyphen the name? My mother hyphened mine. Mine is: Firstname Middlename Motherslastname-Fatherslastname

 

Post # 11
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Darling Husband and I agreed that our kids would take my last name long before we got married. We chose this together for a couple reasons. Darling Husband is not that attached to his last name. More importantly, my last name is on the family business and we want the kids to feel connected to the family business.

I think this is something that you need to decide together with your husband.

Post # 12
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If your husband is ok with it, then go for it! Keep your family’s name going girl!

Post # 14
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Of course the Future Father-In-Law does not get a say. If he doesn’t get over it, he doesn’t have to have a relationship with your kids.

I like the idea of your kids having your last name, just to make it a more unusual name.

Post # 15
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AdriannaJean:  It doesn’t matter your reasonings. It could be — I hate his last name! All that matters is what works for your FAMILY: yourself, your Fiance, and your future children. 

Your Fiance has 100 first cousins? That’s INSANE. That family legacy will be fine! 

I can’t help your question though! But I can’t see how it would matter much going forward, as long as you’re both on board!

Post # 16
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I have one set of friends for whom he took her name because she was a published academic and he didn’t care. 

 

I have another set of friends where both parties hyphenated.

 

I say do what works for you and don’t listen to anybody else.

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