(Closed) I want to be engaged SO badly.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Having read your previous topics I think you just need to really focus on slowing your roll. You guys are still pretty young at 20 and 24 respectivly and you’ve only been together for a little over a year. Thats actually super fast to be getting worried about getting engaged. Focus on your relationship and enjoying your partner, engagement will happen when it happens. 

 

Post # 3
Hostess
8202 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

slomotion:  + 1

 

OP. Just chill. Don’t wish your lift away. Enjoy the time with your OH right now.

Post # 5
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Just propose to him if you can’t wait.

Post # 6
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I also think you need to really come to terms with what you actually want. Do you want to be married to this man and all the trials and tribulations that come with it or do you really just want to throw a wedding and have cute babies? Marriage is not easy and there are going to be A LOT of days where it isn’t fun either. It’s not just having and wedding and making babies and living happily ever after. 

He’s already given you a more than reasonable timeline which you’ve stated in your other posts. In all honesty, I think you are being unreasonable and trying to rush him to marry you just because you want a baby and you want to throw a wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

brittersnicole:  You could go back to school and further your education, focus on your career, pick up a second job, find a hobby, take some classes, spend time with friends, join a book club, renovate your home, plan a vacation, spend time with your family, etc. Your options to keep you busy are limitless. 

Post # 8
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Try to be careful about rushing to the destination.  Have you thought about why you are in such a hurry to be engaged?  Is there an underlying reason or fear?  You shouldn’t get engaged just to get engaged, you should get engaged because you actually want to marry that specific person for clear reasons and because they are the person you want beside you when you are old and creaky.  And pushing someone to propose/get married on your timeline instead of when you are BOTH ready can be a recipe for later resentment.   

Post # 9
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MsBeer:  What does OH stand for? I’ve been waiting to see it pop up again so I could ask lol. Sorry OP, not trying to thread jack!

Post # 11
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

volcomgirl850307:  Omg thank you!! That’s been driving me nuts!! 

OP – I think you’ve received some great advice from other Bees. Life is not a race to the finish line. You are quite young and I’d recommend taking the time now while to discover who you really are and what you want to do with your life, outside of any sort of relationship. 

Post # 12
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

I was feeling like this for a bit. Then I decided to chill and enjoy the ride… Literally as soon as I stopped thinking about it he purchased a ring and now I’m just excited anticipating the polroposal😍

Post # 13
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

TheSpecial:  Thank you! I am also totally bewildered by this OH acronym that I keep seeing on here. Only Husband? Original Hubby? Other Half? 

Post # 14
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

When I was 20, I was almost exactly like you, only I had been engaged for a year. I couldn’t think of anything other than popping out babies. Then I realized I was doing what everyone wanted me to do, what society thought I should be doing, because I had been with this person for 2.5 years and in a small town typically people already have 2 kids by the time their 20. I had an epiphany realized I wasn’t doing anything for me, and frankly didn’t really like kids all that much. I’m so glad I didn’t marry him. We had no idea who we were at 20. Since then the way I think about marriage has changed, the way I think about having kids has changed, my political affiliation has changed, the way I think about life has changed, I’ve had 2 serious medical sacres, gotten a BS, a MS, discovered WHO I am. Meanwhile he married an older woman, not before having 2 kids with her, left her with the kids 2 weeks after the wedding for another woman has no contact with his family or kids etc. If you had told me he would do that 11-12 years ago I would have laughed in your face. The truth is you’re just a kid (so is he) and neither of you even truly know who you are as individuals yet, let alone as a couple. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Profile Photo whoami. Reason: typos
Post # 15
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

tiffanybruiser:  lol same!! Old husband? Only in your dreams husband? Almost misspelled as “olmost” husband?! The things I’ve made up to try to make sense of it because I was convinced the H was for husband due to “DH”! 😆

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