Post # 1
Well I haven’t posted much lately because I felt like I was being consumed by thoughts of wanting to get engaged and married like NOW! lol. I kinda lost some hope that it would happen any time soon too, but lately my mind has been going crazy with waiting excitedness and anxiety, so I thought I would just post my little vent. 🙂
It all kinda started back up until February when one day I had an almost melt down of insecurity and told my SO that I didn’t know what his intentions with me were and that if he didn’t intend to marry me, then he should just tell me now so I can move on with my life! yeah, it was a crazy moment. Anyway, he looked at me in frustration and said “I don’t know what you want me to tell you without giving it away! I want to surprise you but you don’t let me! What do you need me to say???” and I said “I just want you to tell me you want to marry me” (He always tells me this, but i was having a moment, ok). And he said “I DO want to marry you! I am in progress of getting that together right now, but you won’t let me surprise you! You don’t know what I’ve been through the last few weeks!” so I stopped right there because truth is, i do want this to be a surprise. I don’t wanna ruin it, so I apologized for getting cray and then he was super nice and lovey to me after that. So there, I had my reassuance, I could stop worrying, right? Well, I did for a little bit, but you know how it goes. It hit me again one day when I saw a helzberg catalog in his house. I had to hit myself with a dose of reality that catalogs get delivered everywhere and this does not necesarily mean anything, so Okay I was good for a while again. But THEN, he started telling me he really wants to start saving money for the ring (but in a more discreet way). So of course my head is spinning. WHAT? he wants to START saving money? What has all this been about all along? what about “you don’t know what I’ve been through the past few weeks” And any time I wanted to do something like go to a concert or travel, he would say “what do you want, this or the ring?” of course that would shut me up and i’d say okay no concert, that’s cool. lol. Anyway, fast forward to this weekend, and of course my crazy waiting girl brain decide to look in his wallet for any clues and i found a helzberg business card! So of course I was immediately super excited, but this could mean anything. he could have a ring or be in the process on paying off a ring or maybe he just went there to get ideas. i dunno, but it’s driving me crazy! At least now, as opposed to last year at this time, I know he is in the process of trying to propose to me. I just want to be in his brain and know what is happening! I want to know if it is coming soon or not for a while! I really really really really want to be engaged by our 5 year anniversary.
Anyway, that’s my little vent. just needed to get that out! thanks for whoever reads this! 🙂
Post # 3
@juneebee: lol. That’s funny. I’m the exact same! I go through phases of not thinking about it and then they go and drop a hint and my mind goes crazy!!! It will pass again! The fact he has that business card is a great sign! My SO is a slow mover. I think it will take him a good year from start of thought process to actual proposal! I’m giving my SO a year timeline in my head from my marraige meltdown fiasco last november! I hope it will happen sooner but that’s my worst case scenario. Maybe set yourself a worse case timeline!
Post # 4
@juneebee: I feel your pain! We had an engagement talk in October of last year, and it seemed imminent, I gently reminded him how much rings cost. Then I had a meltdown a few months ago (sounds EXACTLY like yours! Glad I’m not the only one who went a little crazy…) I got an update on his saving progress…which was so far from the goal! I was frustrated. I’m the better saver between the two of us, how hard could it be?
But to avoid future meltdowns, he’s actually giving me little updates now (from what’s he’s said, I’m pretty sure he has the ring now) and it’s keeping my crazy at a manageable level.
I’m glad we waiting gals have each other, because I was pretty sure I was going to have to be medicated.
Post # 5
Haha! love the medicated comment!
Thanks girls! ya’ll are awesome! glad I could find girls to relate with, but at the same time sorry you have to go through this as well. lol. it’s all in fun though, right?! here’s to waiting and hopefully in happiness the rest of the way! 🙂
Post # 6
@juneebee: UGHHH I know EXACTLY how you feel! We actually have a timeline, and a proposal should come by the end of this year. But I know he is NOWHERE near close to saving the amount we talked about for the ring. And when i dig a little, he acts like he IS and has been saving.. But then he will do his budgeting/banking while I’m in the room like 5 feet away, and there is not engagement ring money saved in there! And I know him well enough to know he isn’t tricking me or secretly pulling one over on me. I do think the proposal will come, and he will find a way! But it’s still frustrating.
It seems like your boyfriend has definitely made SOME steps though, and that’s a good sign!
Post # 7
Don’t go through his wallet anymore, as tempting as it may be.
I have nothing to hide, but if I found out my Fiance was sneaking around and going through my things, (he’d never), I’d be Pissed.
Post # 8
@jessicadarling: yeah that’s how i feel. my SO has this webiste he is trying to make money with and I think he’s hoping he can make enough quick money with that so he won’t have to save as much, but in my head I’m like “NOOOO don’t rely on that!!” lol
@FortiesFlare: Oh he has seen me do it. that’s why i kinda have a sneaking suspicion he put it there on purpose. He knows how bad I really want to know where he is at because I have literally said to him “i wish i was in your brain!” lol… so yeah i am actually wondering if he left it in there to calm me down 🙂