I want to be married but I'm not excited for the wedding…

posted 1 year ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m a bit like you and have never daydreamed about my wedding day or anything. 

I live abroad, in my husband’s country, and we got married here.

A lot of the preparation was out of my hands, because weddings here are just different. We had probably something like 500 people. I had 8 guests from overseas, including my parents, about a dozen colleagues of mine came from within this country, and basically everyone elsewas my fiance”s side or a mutual friend.

It was overwhelming thinking about it in the run up. Various things weren’t how I wanted them to be. Some days I dreaded the wedding. But in thé end I decided to enjoy it for what it was, even if it wasn’t exactly what I’d have done it could be a fun party if I let it be. And it was. Do you think you’ll be able to let go and enjoy it for what it is, even if its not your ideal? 

As for money, I would draw the line there. Insist on a clear outline of what has been spent. Make it clear you won’t pay for things you haven’t agreed on in advance.

Post # 4
Member
2486 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m honestly feeling much the same. I’m excited to be married, but starting to sort of dread the actual wedding. I also was never a person who dreamed of a wedding, and in fact I always wanted to elope but compromised on having a small weding. My wedding is coming up soon, and now that it’s close I’m getting stressed about something going wrong and the pressure of throwing a fun party for all these people who are travelling for us. Mostly I’m afraid my (very dysfunctional) family will stress me out and I won’t be able to enjoy the actual excitement and happiness of the wedding part itself, at least as much as I would without them there. And I’m just stressed about all the little things that need to happen before the event to make it all go smoothly. 

But oh well… the tradeoff of having the few stressful family members is that I’ll also have the rest of my really awesome and supportive family and friends there. And I do love the elements I’m in control of – my dress, my photographer, my venue, and most importantly, my FH. ๐Ÿ™‚

As you know if you’ve read enough of the recaps here, a lot of people have wedding day mishaps, and most still seem to have a great time in spite of all those snaffus. Fingers crossed we’ll be able to enjoy our days! And if my family does make a scene or something, well… I’ll have the honeymoon to recuperate. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 5
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

hermionegranger :  How far away is your weddding? Are there some aspects that you can focus on that you have control over? For example, I took the dress entirely into my own hands and wouldn’t let anyone else tell me what fabric I should get, what pattern I should use or even what tailor I should use. So the dress mightn’t have been what anyone here would have wanted, but I was more than happy with it.

It’s tough that your fiancé doesn’t recognise the sacrifices you’re making to enable the wedding to happen where he wants it to be.

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