(Closed) I want to blow off my wedding on Friday

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

All understandable. I’m not having anyone see me in my dress until my wedding day. By then they’ll just say something nice anyway because it’s too late (hopefully anyway). Sounds like an absolute nightmare.

I don’t have any real advice other than hang in there! If it really gets to be too much just cancel. People will be disappointed but they’ll get over it. I know you probably won’t because it’s so close though so just try to have fun on that day and not think about all the misery that led up to it!

Post # 3
Member
833 posts
Busy bee

Please stop involving your mum. She sounds like she will make the situation miserable no matter what. When you go back after the alteration take a girlfriend with you. 

Do you have any photos so we can at least reassure you? 

Also on the day your attention won’t be on anyone but your Fiance. Ignore your mum and concentrate on him. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. 

Post # 4
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Maybe you should do something that you enjoy to take your mind off of the wedding for a little while. And just remember that at the end of Friday, you’ll be married to your Fiance and wont have to think about wedding planning anymore. 

Post # 5
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

I’m sorry. As long as you know you are getting married for the right reasons, that’s all that really matters. The rest is an overblown party. Just focus on your fiancé and let the rest roll off your back. 

Post # 6
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

-hugs- 

im sorry boo. People can really suck. You will be gorgeous on your day. You will marry the man of your dreams. Screw the dress. You will be beautiful but it is such a small part to worry about. You will have a great day. Sorry you had such a negative experiance

Post # 7
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My heart goes out to you. Remember….even tho its a wedding its about you amd your soon to be husband. Think about him amd him only. Block everyone else out and enjoy ur wedding w your man. I think bc youpwere having a bad day it made your final fitting a bad experience . Try to think positive and enjoy friday. You will feel beauitful!! Best of luck!! Dont let anyone else overshadow ur special moment w ur Fl. 

Post # 8
Member
8019 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sorry you had to experience that. Don’t take that group again and avoid your mother until Friday if you can! 

I hope you can think of some things to do for yourself this week and can find some moments to just enjoy that you are about to be married to the man you love. The rest of it doesn’t matter so much. Let the little things go and enjoy each other.

Post # 9
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t have any advice either, just wanted to say sorry you had that experience. I think your mom acted like a jerk – at least now you know exactly what NOT to say to your own daughter when she’s trying on her wedding gown. I hope you can just be zen on your wedding day. Just try to think ONLY of how happy you are to see and marry your Fiance. Don’t even entertain thoughts of your mom’s comments or worries about her behaviour. You’re above it. Go practice your “look” in the bathroom mirror from now til your wedding day – and I don’t mean your bridal look, I mean the cool, collected, happy, above-and-over-your-bullshit LOOK that you will be directing toward anyone who pulls anything on your wedding day remotely like what your mom pulled at your dress fitting. “Honey, your back fat is sticking out! They still didn’t get the alterations right! I hope you didn’t actually pay for that!” Silence and LOOK. “Omg, your mom is telling everyone you’re only getting married because you’re pregnant!” Silence and LOOK. Repeat as needed!!

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Not sure about advice on Mom, but I, too, am not looking forward to my wedding because of my dress. I love the dress but have poor body image. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure it’s worse in your head than in reality. I’m sure you looks beautiful and the stress of other things is just weighing on you right now. Do some self care. Read, relax, paint your nails and try to calm yourself down a bit.

Post # 11
Member
6239 posts
Bee Keeper

given your mom’s lack of support, taking her along with you was definitely a mistake.  Remind yourself that her opinion doesn’t matter and that of course you didn’t look your best – you weren’t feeling well!  It’s going to work out fine.  And if you wind up hating the wedding, take some time on your honeymoon (or whenever) to resay your vows to your husband and have a more intimate moment.  I bet he thinks you look fabulous on the day of!

ETA everyone gets squeezed and shoved into their dress – they’re meant to be pretty much skintight.  Mine wasn’t even a proper wedding dress and we still had a hassle where all the fabric met up at the zipper. It’s not a big deal if you don’t overthink it.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by skunktastic.
Post # 12
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee

I say if you really HATE it, wear it to the ceremony and get a totally different dress type for the reception. You’d only be stuck in the one you dislike for an hour or two, you’d still get to have your big day and marry your sweetheart. I’d bet my last 50 cents that when he sees you in that dress and you SEE how he’s looking at you in that dress, you’ll be very hesitant to take it off ever.

Post # 14
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Delta18:  I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time in the lead up to the wedding – that really just sucks. I hope that once the day comes, the overwhelming happiness of the occasion sets in and everything else just bounces off you like water off of a duck’s back. It’s you and your new husband that will make the day special, so don’t let anyone else’s lame attempts to be party poopers dent your celebration.

Do you have a Maid/Matron of Honor or BMs? If so, I would seriously make an appointment to take one of them back to the store to be shown how to lace up your dress and then get them to do it on the day. It’s important, and something I wouldn’t trust your Mum to do given her current behaviour. It gives her too big of an opportunity to mess with you, and if she doesn’t do it the way you want then it sounds like there’s no chance she’ll change it (i.e. if she does it too loosely). Don’t give her the power to screw with your getting ready time, which should be a calm, exciting, and happy experience. 

Do you have some pics from when you tried on your dress? The bees are fantastic and will be able to help you work out very quickly whether it’s a dress issue or self confidence issue that is affecting your feelings. 95% of the time, it’s the latter. I bet you’re going to be an incredibly beautiful bride. 

Best of luck!

Post # 15
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee

I second Miss Mae’s idea. Go back and try it on again without that huge entourage. Take your time and bond with your dress. You loved it before for a reason.

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