(Closed) I want to bring So and So to your wedding. I’ll pay for their dinner…..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

That is so bad – your aunt sounds oblivious even though you were pretty direct!

I’m in a similar situation with Future Mother-In-Law who has been swapping out one person for another for over 8 months.  For a while it was really bothering me, but I really don’t think she realizes all of the thought and planning goes into most weddings now-a-days.  I am 2 weeks away from sending out my formal invitations and I think Future Mother-In-Law has swapped out over 20 people on her list for someone else.  Originally I was waiting on her final list so I could send things out, but I’ve moved on from that at this point.

It sounds like you are going for a smaller guest list, so I’m sure it’s even more annoying for you – hopefull your aunt gets the hint soon enough.  I think you said the right things, and if possible maybe you could have your mom talk to her to nail the point in a little bit more.

Post # 4
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, that is ridiculous.  I can’t believe someone would actually do that.

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@SimpleBride10:  I absolutely hate how pushy and entitled some people feel. Good for you for standing your ground with her while still managing to be polite!!

Post # 6
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Use the old “keep kids away from drugs” tag line and JUST SAY NO!

My husband always says “Say no nicely, and blame me if you have to!”  Generally though, if you are firm but kind, people understand.  

Post # 7
Member
13082 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, that’s awful!  Stay strong, and tell her there’s a limit of people you can invite, and unfortunately, you aren’t able to invite Tiara at this time, but would love to catch up with her once all of the wedding craziness has died down. 

Post # 8
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Good! Stand your ground!!

We had SEVERAL people back my Mother-In-Law in a corner with an invite. It was pretty much the week before our final count was due so we let them attend. 1 was our family doctor (awkward, but okay I didn’t want to be on my doctor’s bad side) 2 was my DH’s aunt’s in laws (so her husbands brother and wife) we’ve never met these people and they don’t know who we are too. We don’t know why anyone would want to attend a wedding where they didn’t know who the bride and groom were!!!! So I guess word got around that we were push overs because literally the week before our wedding we had 1 person who RSVP-ed no say yes (and he lives half way around the world!). We had to scramble to get his place card made, pay for his meal, etc. It was really irritating. Soooo STAND YOUR GROUND!

 

Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That sounds like my Future Mother-In-Law. She already has just over one third of our guest list she gets to invite. We are sticking to 100 people total due to both budget and personal reasons. She’s trying to say she will pay us to have 6-8 more of her friends come. I wanted a small intimate wedding with only 40-50 people as I’m shy and hate being the centre of attention and people looking at me. We have doubled that and she’s still not respecting the fact that I only wanted close friends and family there and not her friends who I’ve never met and have have no part of my FI’s life either.

If we have people RSVP no, I would rather invite friends and my side of the family I have cut for my Future Mother-In-Law to have her whole family there.

Post # 10
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

EWWW are you serious?! I can’t believe the nerve of some people. Why thank you for inviting someone FOR me as if I didn’t have my own people in mind if some people couldn’t come. EW ew ew that’s just too annoying. I’m glad you told her point blank UHHH NO. Lol. You see too many people asking, “what do I tell my aunt?” It’s like umm, tell her hell no you aren’t close with this person so she won’t be invited to my wedding lol. And why does this person want to come to your wedding if yall arent close and havent spoken?? Lol, for the free food/party/drinks?? I don’t think soo..

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lmoss78:  It sounds like she hasn’t a clue about wedding etiquette!  Tell her that your list is final, and that inviting one person to take the place of another after invites are out is very rude.

I know some circles follow the ‘cover the plate’ rule in regard to monetary wedding gifts, so she may be trying to do the same thing.

Post # 15
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SimpleBride10:  Just for the record, you’re well within your rights to go all Bridezilla on your Aunt…..just saying….every bride should be allowed to do it ONCE.  

Post # 16
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s crazy how many people lack reasonable wedding etiquette!

The topic ‘I want to bring So and So to your wedding. I’ll pay for their dinner…..’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors