(Closed) I want to cancel my DW Wedding :(

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 46
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Not everyone want to spend thousand and thousand of dollars on a plane ticket just to attend your wedding on top of that hotel and car rentals. It all adds up. You need to be very realistic. If you want people to attend you might need to pay their plane ticket flights otherwise you shouldn’t be shocked or even suprised that you are getting lots of decline.

 

Post # 47
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
peonyinlove:  Major +1

Post # 48
Member
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Tuscanywedding

Honestly, Did you really think that all guests would be able to make it? I have to agree with PeonyInLove.   

Post # 49
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

you sound like a spoiled baby.

Post # 50
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH

As long as the people who really count/matter are there. I wouldn’t expect everyone to fly in either. Everyone else’s priorities don’t take precedent over your wedding, the world doesn’t stop just because you’re getting married, they have lives too! I’d be happy to get 32 people, but I wouldn’t have counted so surely on everyone else. Perhaps it’s not too late to just change the venue or location just slightly. If you’re worried your wedding will feel empty, don’t! This is the best day of your life, just rock it! Don’t let anyone else ruin it. It’s about you and your future hubby, that’s all that matters. 

Post # 51
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m having my wedding in Tuscany this fall and I’m facing similar issues… between the two families (all based in the US) we have less than 20 guests.  That was the point!  I invited people knowing that most wouldn’t be able to come.  Not because I don’t love my family, but because I believe a wedding should be a private and intimate ceremony to celebrate with your closest family and friends.  My extended family is not super close, and I definitely didn’t want to worry about 50+ people all traveling and booking rooms and such… I’m so glad it’s small!  Bottom line is people can’t afford to just pack up a family of five at 1300 ea flight PLUS hotel PLUS food and other expenses, and potentially time off work.  Even couples might have a hard time coming up with that much cash and getting time off work.  I’m sure they all WANT to come, but it’s just not possible.

Post # 52
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I agree with all the PP about being selfish and 32 is a pretty significant number given the cost, location so I won’t say anymore about that however I’d like to touch on the comments regarding lame excuses and 8th grade graduations. I understand that some of these reasons dont seem like a valid reason for not attending your wedding however when you have children and their milestone events begin to happen I think you will revisit that thought. As a mother of 3 natural children, future step mother of 2 and one grand daughter I have had to choose between things like this and usually my “childrens milestone event won”. (Most recent example was a big family party for Nanas 90th birthday or my daughters Jr. Prom.) It’s not an easy decision but in the mother has to do what is best for here and her family. I don’t think people should be criticized for this. 

Post # 53
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Clearly its disappointing for 100% of his guest list to make it, but only a third of yours to make it. In your original post you mentioned how you realize that the flight from the US to Tuscany is expensive. Also, a four day mini vacay planned by someone else is not exactly everyone’s idea of a vacay. Cost to attend, days  off from work, stress of international travel, and then basically going to a four day famiy reunion is a big, big ask!

You’re spending quite a bit on your wedding. Is there any more room in the budget to help some of your nearest & dearest come if the expense was an issue?

Post # 55
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I just got back from my destination wedding in Puerto Rico, where I had 34 people attending (including me and my husband).  I was thrilled.  It was an amazing event.  If I had the same event in Italy, I bet less than half would go from the US, and that’s only because I would have paid for their expenses.  Remember, you can’t just “pop in” to Italy from the US.  Jet lag is killer so you need at least 5 days there vs. from the UK where it is a weekend trip.

Post # 56
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Destination Wedding are expensive for the bride and groom and the guests. My Fiance and I consdiered a Destination Wedding for a minute, since we are having a small wedding, but then realized that it was more important to have family there then have a Destination Wedding. In your case, its a little different, since you are already far away. I think the best option is to keep planning the wedding of your dreams and then have a reception in the States later that more people can attend. 

Post # 57
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
Tuscanywedding:  It’s going to be ok. You get to marry your dreamy English guy! There will still be lots of loved ones there and best wishes flowing in from those who wanted to attend but were unable. 

Destination weddings can be tough. I HATE party planning and had a destination wedding in Mexico. At times I totally wished we had just eloped to the nearby Rockies with just our immediate families. I didn’t care about the details and I resented having to do it a bit, I just wanted to marry my husband. There were a few guests I would have loved to have that couldn’t make it. 

But, I was really touched by how many people actually came. 32 is a lot! You will have a beautiful time! Later on, you may still wish you had it in NY, but weddings are funny like that. You can go on forever with “what if this/that/other” about your dress, ring, location, etc. As long as you have the right groom, it’s all good. 🙂

Post # 58
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m sorry you are feeling so bad about your own wedding….. But 32 is a huge number! Id be so happy if 32 family members came to my wedding………. I’m from Spain and live in Los Angeles. For our wedding we had 480 guests and only 6 were from my family in Spain. That plus maybe 10 LA friends and coworkers…..and that was it. Nobody else from Spain could make it. 

My friends husband is from Iraq and they had 300+ guests and he only had 5 people total and not even including his parents who’s visa got denied last minute and couldn’t come see their son get married. 

count your blessings, 32 is a lot, and Tuscany is far……….. not everyone is capable of spending so much money to go to Italy….. Enjoy your wedding! It sounds like it is going to be a beautiful event. 

Post # 59
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
Tuscanywedding:  do something small when you are home with the people that missed it whether you have them out to a bar to celebrate or a backyard bbq.

DO NOT cancel the wedding, because now you do have a lot of people that ARE coming and most likely have already took time off of work and paid a pretty penny to be there.

Post # 60
Member
1620 posts
Bumble bee

They want to come…but they most likely cannot afford it.

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