(Closed) I want to cancel the wedding…

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

Hey, I cross-posted with you, but I just want to reiterate the option of splitting up the wedding and a larger reception, if you think that would keep the peace with your extended family.

Post # 18
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee

Oh well in that case…  if they tell you that you’re nuts you tell them to shut their faces.  You’re allowed to change your mind about what you want!  Given that you are so far out and all deposits can be recovered, you’re not hurting any one by changing anything (my answer to you would be different if you were a month out from your wedding with invitations in the mail).  Just calmly tell both parents that after further discussion your fiance and you have changed your vision of what you want… they should want you to be happy on your wedding day.

Post # 20
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think a large part of this is that you had this traditional big wedding in your mind, and your mother was there with you through it all.  I am so sorry for your loss, but I am sure she would want you to be happy and have the day of your dreams – regardless of whether that day is small and intimate, at the courthouse, or a big church wedding.

If your dad is not going to lose any money, then really the choice is open to whatever you want it to be.

What do you really want??  Think about it.  Cry about it.  Take a few deep breaths.  Then make it happen.  You WILL be happy and married.  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 21
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know someone who had a quickie wedding and then later on went and had it blessed by a priest in a simple ceremony in a catholic church. Maybe this could be a compromise that would satisfy your family?

My dad died in November, so can sympathize with the confusing intermixing of grieving & normal wedding stress. There are times that I don’t know what’s up and what’s down. I’m seeing a grief therapist, but we also spend a lot of time talking about the wedding. It’s helpful to have someone who can help separate the emotions and help me cope.

Best of luck!

Post # 23
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way… Remember, this is YOUR and your FI’s day: do whatever makes you both happy! And, of course, wear your beautiful dress! Sending you lots of hugs!!!

Post # 24
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think that your heart is in the right place, and if it is a courthouse wedding that you want, I don’t see any problem in doing so. All anyone wants to do is marry their Fiance, and if you don’t want the big lavish traditional wedding, I vote to just skip it. It is yours and your FI’s big day, and it should be your way. Just apologize to your dad, but make sure that you decide to opt out way before the deposit is due so he doesn’t lose any money.

Good luck!

Post # 25
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

go get married NOW girl!  Your families will get over it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee

If it’s want you really want, then do it! You could potentially be convalidated later.

Also, I live with my Fiance as a roommate, we sleep in separate rooms…if that’s the issue bothering you, could you try that?

Post # 28
Member
294 posts
Helper bee

I am a Future Mother-In-Law.  If you were my daughter, I would want you to be honest and do what is right for you.  All the extras are not what makes a marriage.  If youand your Fiance feel right about a JOP then please do it.  You can wear your beautiful dress, have special people at your side, and make a commitment to your future husband.  That is what counts. 

Please don’t be pressured into something that is not right for you.

((((Hugs)))  I wish I could hug you in person. 

Post # 30
Bee
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

Be true to yourself and have the wedding you want.  I know my Future Mother-In-Law would have loved for us to have a huge Catholic/Italian wedding but when I told her what I really wanted was a destination wedding she gave us both a big hug and said as long as we were happy with it she was happy.  And she has been AWESOME about it, helping us, etc.  Your Future Mother-In-Law might surprise you too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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