(Closed) I want to cry…vent about budgets. Stupid money!

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why does he expect you to pay for stuff for his son??   And has he changed his spending habits at all to help save?  Sounds pretty ridiculous and unfair from what I’m reading….

Post # 4
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

IMO you guys just need a serious talk. Sounds like he;s a lil oblivious to the money issues. I would bring as much evidence as possible to back up your side. I am in a similiar situation- I make a decent salary but w/ student loans, Credit cards, and my other normal bills I barely have $200 to spend on groceries or other misc. items for 2 weeks. My Fiance totally blames me for all the CC debt and I admitted that prior to living together (7 years ago) I was a little swipe happy and racked up a couple thousand in debt. But the other thousands were both of us…groceries, bills when cash wasn’t available, Christmas, ect. I had to physically show him the CC statement with all the itemized purchases before he admitted to being part of the problem. I also cut down my eyebrow waxing (my 1 beauty splurge & I’m getting my first haircut in 6 months Thur.- sounds like we are both low maintenance girls; ) What does your Fiance do with HIS money- because it doesn;t sound like much besides eat it up. Have you tried packing his lunch the night before or in the morning- this may stop him from buying daily or investing in a Kurig (a lil pricey at first but will def. save $ in the long run)? Don’t let money be your white elephant in your relationship- it kills almost instantly!

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Maybe for one month you should both track every single things you spend and sit down together to honestly analyze your expenses. He might be surprised to see how good you are and careless he is, or you might learn something you didn’t expect.

Post # 6
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Maybe he is projecting his own faults onto you I.E. HE is the one spending too much but wants to put the pressure on you to take blame off of himself. Yes, you need to sit down and work out a budget. Don’t get angry and give each of you the chance to make a case for oneself. Decide what’s important and what isn’t. Finances are really important.

Post # 7
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  I second that. Maybe if you get Quicken or something that tracks each of your spending, he will see that x% of his money goes to eating out, and it’s far more than yours. My guess is (if he’s anything like my FI) he just doesn’t see how quickly things add up. If he has a pie chart in front of him showing how he’s the one spending more, he won’t have much to argue with.

Post # 9
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand where you are at – I almost feel like I wrote this post.    I haven’t had my hair done since July 17th,  No nails getting done anymore, I don’t go out at all – but my fiance always wants to go out – even though he complains about all that I am spending on the wedding.  He says he gave me money for the wedding that he didn’t. I showed him all the reciepts all the account info that I use for everything wedding related (we opened a special joint account for the wedding) And since the deposits aren’t there for the money He thinks he gave me, he thinks I spent it on myself.  Ummmmmm… when was the last time I went shopping???   

 

I think this is a common thing.  My parents have been married for 37 years and my mother says they almost broke up about wedding plans four time in their year long engagement. And my mothers parents paid for everything but the Rehearsal Dinner.  So – I don’t know  – keep communication open.  Money is the most difficult thing to discuss.  We will get through this 🙂  Hopefully not too many more tears

 

Good Luck 

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