- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I need some advice please.
I am really thinking about demoting my Maid/Matron of Honor to a regular bridesmaid. Here is why:
I have never really asked her to do anything for me during wedding planning. In fact, she lives 4 hours away and I knew that when we started planning the wedding. I have done everything on my own (even planned my own bridal shower and bachelorette party [with the help of my other bridesmaids].
So, recently she called me and told me that if she had not purchased her dress, she would drop out of the wedding because she feels like she has not been there for me as she should. I told her that its ok because I didnt really want her to do anything, I just want her to be there by my side on my wedding day.
Now, she is telling me that she might have to come to town the day of the wedding or the night before the wedding. She gave me an ultimatum that if I dont invite the guy she has been trying to get with (they have just started talking a few months ago) that she will not be able to come until the day of the wedding. We have been planning this wedding for 2 years now and 3 months before the wedding you tell me this?
First, I dont know this guy from a can of paint. Second, we are cutting the guestlist dramatically and arent even inviting some family members and now she wants me to add to the guestlist. I would not mind making the sacrifice if she had been there for me but she hasnt.
I just feel like she wants to drop out because she is coming up with a whole lot of excuses when it comes to the wedding. She keeps complaining about everything when it comes to the wedding and I almost feel like Im begging her to be a part of this wedding.
In contrast to her, I have another friend who has been there for everything and is the one helping me plan my shower and bachelorette party and she has been helping me with all of my DIY projects and have been going to vendor appointments with me. I really want her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor but I feel bad. I honestly dont feel like my current Maid/Matron of Honor deserves the title. I dont mind making her a bridesmaid or giving her some other honorary title but not Maid/Matron of Honor.
I guess I am rambling. Please help me decide ladies. And please be nice (I’m really not a bridezilla and I hate that I have to do this but I just dont know what to do. I may just be overreacting but she is so flacky that Im not so sure what to do about her).