Post # 1
I want to end my engagement. There is a long back story but it comes down to not being able to trust my partner. I feel like he’s done multiple shady things (all online/on his phone) We have been going through a rough patch for awhile now and tonight i opened up a snapchat on his phone of a woman touching herself. That is just the cherry on top really……
I am scared to pull the trigger on this mainly because i will have a very hard time financially making it on my own. I am also scared because at least at one point i did want to marry him. I did love him. It’s hard to love someone you can’t trust. I’m 28 and our wedding date is 6 months out. Some invitations have been handed out already. I am scared of the embarrassment of a broken engagement.
Any advice would help .
Post # 2
krista90 : oh bee, I’m sorry. This has to be painful. But you know you’re doing the right thing. If he’s doing this now, imagine what he will do when you’re pregnant, sick, busy, or just when marriage gets stale.
You cant be happy when you don’t trust someone. You deserve to find someone wonderful who makes you feel adored. Hang in there.
Post # 3
Agreed with above bee! So so sorry love. That’s incredibly difficult. My heart goes out to you.
Post # 4
Im so sorry you are going through this. I am your age and though I’m not in your situation now, I have been before. YOU DONT DESERVE THIS. Whatever your situation might be I HAVE BEEN THERE you are worthy of much much more. I know it might sound as just words now but you only have one life, ONE and this is not the way to live it. You deserve pure love and respect.
it will be super hard at first, especially when you need financial help from him, buy you can do this! Leave! Swallow the embarrassment. Maybe some people will judge you, but that’s just humans, that’s what we do. The people who matter will stand by your side. Soon enough everything will pass, people will move on with their lives and you will too. Get a waitressing job if you need to, until you figure out your life. You will struggle at first but you will be free of a life and a man that do not deserve you.
Anyways, I dont mean to be condescending because I know how hard it is but I really related to your story and wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Post # 5
You can’t marry someone you don’t trust, no matter how many invitations have been handed out.
I’m so sorry for your trouble, but it’s better a tough time now than a bad marriage and divorce.
Post # 6
You could tell him you’re cancelling the wedding for now and get your ducks in a row. Most people fear they can’t make it alone, but they find a way when it comes time. You can do it too.
Post # 7
Oh my dear sweet bee, I’m so truly sorry you are going through this… You absolutely cannot marry this man, all the pain and embarrassment you will go through calling off your engagement will be ten-fould when you end up with a broken marriage and probably an unfaithful husband.
Please update us about what you end up doing. You will get through this sweety!
Post # 8
call off the wedding ceremony bee, the sooner the better. you need to stand up for yourself rather than taking it all in and kept quite because it’ll just get worst. u’ll be embarrassed that’s no doubt for calling off the ceremony, but eventually everyone will move on and so do you.
Post # 9
Divorce will be much, much worse than canceling a wedding.
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
Im so sorry..
however- A broken engagement isn’t a huge embarrassment. You haven’t done anything to be embarrassed about- you are dodging a huge bullet!!!!
Post # 11
I am so sorry, but like the other Bees said, you do not have a choice, you need to call of this engagement. Like other pointed out, a divorce is way more messy than cancelling an engagement. remeber this is your life; is this really how you want to feel? bacuase it is not going to get better
Post # 12
krista90 : First i just wanna say…I am so sorry bee.
Also, you just can’t be happy w/ someone you cannot trust. You deserve someone that makes you feel absolutely wonderful & has you feeling major butterflies. Hang in there. You’d definitely be doing the right thing & dodging a HUGE bullet by calling off this engagement & by not marrying this man!
Post # 13
Exit plan bee. Find your support or go back to your parents if you must but you CAN be independent of him. Have confidence in your abilities.
Post # 14
You can’t marry someone you can’t trust, Bee. And ending a marriage is far more complicated than ending an engagement. Put the brakes on this wedding. Figure out what you need to do to exit this relationship–make a plan. You can do this.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry Bee. You are making the right choice. Respect yourself Bee. Reach out to close family and friends who can emotionally be supportive of you during this difficult period. Keep doing the things you love and take care of yourself.
This means blocking him on all social medial and phone and creating physical space.
Cheating is unacceptable, even if he didn’t ‘do’ anything with this woman. This is 100% a betrayal of your trust.
Be wary of him gaslighting you, look into emotional detachment to help you.
So sorry Bee, hang in there.