(Closed) I want to exchange my engagement stone, (NOT for a bigger one, a different cut)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you should feel like an awful person. If it’s a fair trade and your Fiance doesn’t mind the exchange, go for it and don’t look back. He wanted the ring to cater to your tastes, and you weren’t 100% on what you wanted – big deal. You’re allowed to change your mind and the symbolism of the ring remains the same.

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You’re NOT an awful person, you said it yourself: You just didn’t research it enough to know there was something you liked better. It’s not the end of the world.

If your Fiance is on board, then go for it. I don’t find it insulting or think it changes the meaning of the ring no matter WHEN you change or even upgrade a ring. The ring is the symbol, not the stone.

Post # 5
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not sure if cost is an issue for you, but in my experience asscher cut diamonds are more expensive than princess cut diamonds of the same carat weight (or maybe this is just in Australia)

Also, as the asscher cut highlights the clarity & colour of the diamond so usually you will need to get a higher grade of colour & clarity for the diamond to look as ‘perfect’ as a lower graded princess cut.

Hopefully that makes sense? I’m not an expert, but I did lots of research into different diamond cuts when my Fiance & I were looking at rings.

 

Post # 7
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If your Fiance doesn’t mind, I don’t see a problem – another thought though, if you weren’t 100% sold on exchanging your ring, might be finding yourself a nice right hand ring with an ascher cut. That would be best of both worlds in my mind, keeping the ring he proposed with AND getting to wear the cut you love! Plus extra jewelry to love. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

change it! sounds like an even exchange, and your Fiance is understanding. don’t feel bad!

but do keep in mind – I agree with what aprilsixteenth said. discuss the differences between asscher and princess cut with your jeweler. you might decide your current ring is the best choice after all.

no matter what you decide, post pictures. I want to see!

Post # 9
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand your situation. I recently changed my engagement band this week. My original band was not my exact style and the jeweler was unable to permanently size down my pave’ band to fit my finger (I’m size 3.5). I was scared to tell my Fiance, but he turned out to be totally understanding and said he just wanted me to be happy/comfortable with my ring. I do warn you might have an increase in price b/c that is what happened to us when we went to exchange. But maybe it will be different for you since you’re exchanging the diamond and not the band (keep in mind there might be a resetting fee). As long as you think you’re Fiance will be understanding and you can afford a change in rings I say go for it! I’m super happy with my decision!

Post # 10
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Definitely do not feel bad.  Especially if he seemed ok with it.  My fiance proposed to me nearly four years ago with something he liked, but didn’t love.  It was also his goal to get me my dream ring.  So we decided to trade it in BEFORE the wedding.  I got flack from family and friends who just didn’t understand where we were coming from.  Part of our issue was that he also didn’t do enough research when he first purchased.  The second time around, we did months of research and picked it out together.  I just got it today, and it’s wonderful.  It’s everything we both wanted and we’re both happy.  Some people still don’t understand our decision.  But it is supposed to be that way.  It’s something we did for us, and it was good.  I do not regret my decision.  And you may not think it now, but the new one will have sentimental value as well.  Especially if it’s already on your hand when you get married.  To me, its best to find the ring you will want to wear every single day for the rest of your life, before you get married, not ten years down the road.

Good luck to you, hope you feel better, and I hope this helped you some.

Post # 11
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Your FI’s on board with it, so stop beating yourself up! I think it’s great that you were honest about your feelings with him, and that he in turn was generous and understanding. That’s a great foundation of communication and honesty to build a marriage on.

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