(Closed) I WANT to go to Miami for my bachelorette but….

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sounds really pricey. If I was expecting something like that, I’d pay for the dresses and makeup, or pay for the trip to Miami.

I wouldn’t put all the expense on them. That’s pretty pricey.

Post # 5
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@hedwards0524:  I totally understand. Fiance is going to Vegas and 2 of my bridesmaids are broke and 1 is planning her own wedding. I feel guilty asking for a shower and a bachelorette on top of the dresses (I am paying for alterations, hair, and makeup). I would live to do Miami or NO, but I realize it is too much to ask. I’ll be happy with whatever my girls feel they can do and I would never ask them to go into debt or eat ramen for a month just for a weekend away. If you really want to go, I would make it something other than a bachelorette– maybe a girls weekend for those who can afford it where you pay your own way?

Edit: It is also fine to tell your Fiance that you know it isn’t the same (He may be feeling guilty that he gets an awesome party and you don’t), but it is how your friends are and you are fine with it.

Post # 6
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@hedwards0524:  

Although I can understand why a bride secretly may wish to have some type of spectacular trip/vacation for her bachelorette party, I don’t think there is any way that she should ask her attendants to host such a party on her behalf. A bride should not be involved in planning pre-wedding parties in her own honor.

Post # 8
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask your friends to spend that much money.  Now…if they suggested some grand bachelorette destination weekend, great!  But I wouldn’t suggest it myself.

Post # 9
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I personally wouldn’t suggest it myself.  Can you ask what they think would be fun to do??   That might give you some clue what they are thinking?  It sounds like they might not be able to afford it, and in that case I would go with Atlantic City (which sounds like a blast to me!)

I am thinking of going to Vegas for mine, but quite a few of them suggested it to me to begin with and I told them that I truly didn’t need to go there if that wasn’t what they really wanted (to be sure).  I honestly don’t care where it will be.  I also don’t expect or require anyone to go

Post # 11
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@hedwards0524:  You could always ask them if they would have any interest in going to Miami.  If you don’t get a emphatic response it might be best to do something nearby.  As your BMs, you should be close enough to have a discussion about it at least, and they would probably be happy that you asked first! Smile

Post # 13
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ask them what they think – privately.  Tell them to be honest.  Ask them for suggestions of other places that might be fun that aren’t as difficult to get to as Miami.

Check out flights, too — I’ve found it’s a lot cheaper to fly into Fort Lauderdale than Miami a lot of times, and you can rent a car for the 30 mile drive down to Miami.

Post # 14
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

There is nothing wrong with wanting to go to Miami for your bachelorette. But I would chat to your friends and try to get a feel for their thoughts on the matter. You may find a few are super keen. The main thing is not to be upset with the girls who can’t go. 

Post # 15
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I think its your wedding day and you’re HOPEFULLY only doing this once, so you should go big. I would say to the girls that its your dream and would really mean a lot to you, but that you TRULY understand if they can’t come for whatever the case is. Do not put pressure. I’m just thinking about the regret factor here…not going if its soemthing I REALLY wanted would be a huge regret for me personally. I’d rather go with whoever can come and have fun that way. Sometimes its quality not quantity! 

Post # 16
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ask them what they think about it. I am going to Vegas for my bachelorette party and all my BMs were really excited about it. I made it very clear that I would be paying for my own trip and that I wouldn’t be insulted or upset if anyone coulnd’t make it, didn’t want to go, coulnd’t afford it or take off from work, etc.

You know your BMs best, just talk to them and guage how they feel. 

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