(Closed) I want to include everyone in my bridal party!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: 8 BMs and mismatched sides?

    Ask them all!

    Narrow it down

  • Post # 2
    Member
    9519 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Yep, mismatched sides are pretty common

    Edit- Just because you do not like to be excluded doesn’t mean the other ladies feel the same way

    Post # 3
    Member
    355 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    carolnmarr :  here’s my two cents: only ask the people who you really REALLY love and who really REALLY love you back. Don’t ask anyone out of obligation or just to be inclusive. Unless you’re great friends with your FSILs, then don’t ask them. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Ask the women you genuinely want as your bridesmaids. If that means all 8 girls, so be it. Mismatching sides isn’t as important as having the people you want stand next to you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2667 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    Honestly, I would try to forget about “including everyone” and focus more on who you really want standing up with you. You don’t have to ask both of your sisters or both FSILs or all of your friends if this isn’t who you really want to include. You also don’t have to have the same number of people on each side.

    FWIW, my Fiance has 3 sisters and I only asked 1 of them to be a bridesmaids. I’m not really close with the other 2 and neither is my Fiance (in fact, he doesn’t overly get along with 1 of them and didn’t want her involved with our wedding at all). I originally wanted to ask all 3 of them, but after talking with my Fiance and my parents I realised it was because I didn’t want the other 2 to feel left out. We ended up asking FI’s other sisters to do a reading each (which much cajoling for the sister he doesn’t like) and everyone seems to be happy.

    I also don’t have an even bridal party – I have 4 on my side and my Fiance only has 3. He hasn’t even specified a best man, as he couldn’t choose between his guys, whereas I have a Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7637 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Leave out the FSILs. It’s common not to include them, and they’ll be in the family photos.

    Post # 7
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee

    I say include them all. I did this, and I had 16 bridesmaids, and it was great! No fuss, no issues at all, they were all super helpful and incredibly gracious,

    Post # 8
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    carolnmarr :  DO NOT ASK OUT OF OBLIGATION! It will come back to bite you. I felt obligated to ask someone (a toxic personality type person, creates drama and hates my FI) and then I was so unhappy that I ended up removing her from my bridal party. Its much more painful to remove someone than not ask them in the first place.

    View original reply
    Flabbergasted :  Holy Cannoli! I dont even think I have that many close friends! You are well loved Bee!

    Post # 10
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee

    Imo, just ask them all, sometimes some of them won’t be able to make it or decline. At least then you gave them the chance to say no. Or you could ask some who are less important to you to just show up and be there for you on the day but not having to get involved with preparations.

    Post # 11
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I have a total of 8 bridesmaids so if you want to include them all I say go for it. Some may not be able to anyway possibly due to the financial commitment or they all might not be available on the day you chose. Do what makes you happy after all it’s your day.

    Post # 12
    Member
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I have 8! It’s not unheard of at all. Fiance has 6 on his side. I truly wanted all those ladies, including my two FSILs who I am close with, up there with me! We’re slightly mismatched but were both okay with it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    carolnmarr :  Well FSILs are going to be in family photos anyway with you guys. So that cuts them out. Same with your sister for that matter. You can have a sisters photo shoot with them anyway. 

    Go with your 3 or 4 friends.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    999 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I mean i think that IS a lot…but its not uncommon these days for people to 8 to 10 BMs. Its a little overkill, but thats just me.

    With that number of BMs, mismatched dresses in the same color scheme would look great. I only have 4 bridesmaids, so I have them all in the same dress, I didnt think mismatched would look good.

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