(Closed) I want to keep my name… maybe

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 3
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You have forever to change your name… don’t do it until you feel you are truly ready to, and of course, that you want to.

I threw the idea around about hyphenating as well, only because I am a professional…I’m a teacher, so I’m just so used to being Miss my-maiden-name..

But I ended up getting sick about 6 weeks ago, and my husband was there for me every second of every day.. What he did for me and how he treated me made me love him even more than I knew I already did… At that moment, I knew he was my #1…

So once I was better, I went to the SS office, got myself a new SS card, and am happily waiting for it in the mail.  Smile

Post # 4
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You know it didn’t phase me at all….maybe I’m a little old fashioned but in spite of my career being heavily associated with my maiden name and the fact that it sounded great, I had no problem changing it….I liked the idea of us being on the same team.

Post # 5
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

My last name is a dying last name–my sister and I are the last ones with it.  My sister always says she’ll go with the name that sounds the best with her first name, so there’s a good chance that she won’t keep it.  Me, on the other hand, feel that my name is part of my identity as a person and can’t imagine changing it.  My finace doesn’t want to change his name either (although I’d never ask because I’m not willing to change mine).

As for if we have children, well I’m trying to get him to let them have my last name.  I mean, it is a dying last name and he has a half-brother and a male cousin to carry on his last name.  Or at least, that’s what my argument is.


Post # 6
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I’ve been thinking about this too.  My name is fairly long and is separated by a space.  Hyphenating my name with FI’s would look odd, IMO.  Also, I don’t care much for his last name (I feel guilty thinking that way, but I don’t really like it).  ๐Ÿ™  So, I think I am going to make my last name my middle name (since I don’t have one).  That may still look odd but it’s the best I can come up with at this point in time.

Post # 7
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t change your name if you don’t want to. It IS a big deal — it’s your name. Take your time to think about it. Personally I don’t think it’s a big deal not having the same last name as your husband and/or kids, because it’s getting more common in the US for husbands & wives to have different last names. Just think about what you want and don’t feel pressure to do anything…

Post # 8
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What about both without the hyphen? You can either use your maiden as your middle or just have two last names (or two middles, I’m not sure exactly what it would be legally). My fiance and I are both doing this, and we will go by both as last names, but you wouldn’t even necessarily have to go by both if you decide you just want to use one, but then you will still have the connection to both.

For us it basically came down to that he wanted us all (we have a 5 year old daughter) to have the same name. I had planned on not changing mine and just being different, but it was important to him so he decided that if I was willing to take his, he was also willing to take mine. So we are all First Middle Mine His. Most people assume it has a hyphen but for some reason he is very anti-hyphen so for us it’s just two last names.

Post # 9
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Would you consider using your last name as your middle name? Or having one legally and just using the other? I haven’t changed mine yet legally (I will when I get around to it), but I’ve started going by Mrs. HisLast with my students and my e-mail. So for now it feels like I have both names.

Post # 11
25 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

I really think that its a big choice and one that you have to be ok with. I plan on changing my last name but its because I have one of the most generic madien names and my whole life there was a list of people with the same last name as me. My Fiance name is unique and I can finally have some thats diffrent! 

Post # 12
18 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

For me, that was something not at all up for discussion. I will always be Dr. MyLastName. My name is “dying” as well as I have 3 sisters and my father was the only boy, but I don’t feel a need to “pass along” my last name. I just feel like I did so much, earned so much with my last name that I don’t want to change it and start over.

However, I find it obnoxious when people correct someone. So socially if someone were to address me as “Mrs. HisLastName” I am fine with it.  Funny part is, often when we are together he gets called Mr. MyLastName. We have a lot of laughs over that as well…Surprised

Post # 13
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Take your time. No need to change it right away, or ever! No need to rush into a decision. Lots of ladies keep their names. My FI’s name is puerto rican in origin, and I am Irish. I understand about the name “not fitting”, and will not be changing mine. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you love your current surname there is no need to change it. I have changed to my mother’s maiden name and it was such a long hastley process. Not something I’m willing to do again in a hurry. Even if I had stuck with my father’s name I don’t think I would be taking my fiance’s name. It just doesn’t feel like it could ever be ‘my’ name. My name a dying one, but then again so is his so it’s a moot point. 

I don’t see anything wrong with Kleiner-Green/Green-Kleiner. If anything I like how they go. A mix of origins in hyphinated names makes them more interesting ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

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