(Closed) I want to kick my sister out of my bridal party..

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Can I kick out my sister from my bridal party?
    YES : (32 votes)
    89 %
    NO : (4 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Christmas143:  yes you can! If your sister obviously doesn’t want to be a part of your bridal party, which seems to be the case, then don’t feel bad. I would still invite her to the wedding, but make it clear that your bridal party is expected to be there for you and more importantly, be ENTHUSIASTIC! If she isn’t willing or able to do her part, I wouldn’t feel bad about demoting her, family or not!

    ETA: And don’t feel bad about not inviting her ex. He has obviously caused your family a lot of problems and he shouldn’t have the right to overshadow your special day by being there, obviously unwelcome by everyone but your sister. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Christmas143:  I’m sorry you’re going through this….especially with your big day around the corner. I have a sister who is 2 years younger than me and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. We have had our share of problem during my wedding planning process and I have been where you are.

    In your situation I would call your sister and just tell her how important it is to you and your FH that your wedding only have close fam and friends attend. I’d also say that you’re feel anxious as it is and you know that having her boyfriend(ex husband) there on your wedding day will only increase your anxiety and you won’t be able to fully enjoy your big day. Just remind her that it’s only one day and really she’ll be too busy being there for you that she won’t see much of her boyfriend anyway.

    Post # 5
    Member
    259 posts
    Helper bee

    You can kick out anyone you want as late as you want, you could kick her out DAY OF the wedding! It is your right as a bride!

    Post # 6
    Member
    690 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    have you told her your dad doesn’t want him to come?

    Post # 7
    Member
    2269 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m sorry you’re going through this, but she obviously doesn’t care about being there for you on your wedding day. If I were you, I wouldn’t want her there at all – and it’s completely your right as the bride to tell her she is not welcome on the day. I wouldn’t even feel guilty about it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

    If I were in your shoes, and could muster the strength(in reference to your anxiety, I mean), I’d call her and just be straight.

    “Look, this is MY and FH’S day. Not the day you try to FORCE us all into *lying* or *pretending* to accept the man who has quite obviously nearly ruined multiple lives. Either come alone, or not at all”.

    Post # 10
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Technically, you can, but really try and think about what throwing her out will cause moving forward. I think you should talk to her. I know you’re crazy busy planning a wedding, but if you do all you can to get up with her and try to work it out then it can’t be throw in your face later on. I’d say give it another week or so. Call, text, email, fb message, tweet, etc and get her to call you back. If she doesn’t, then call or email and say that you are absolutely heart broken that she’s (basically) choosing an abuser over family and that it would be best for everyone if neither of them come. Explain that hopefully she’ll change her mind about him coming, but if not then she leaves you with no other choice. Explain in the message or email that you feel like you’re left with no other choice and you are just trying to keep the peace amoung the majority of the guests and not ruin your day. If you decide to tell her no to be in the wedding, be sure you are super nice but very matter-of-fact.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Christmas143:  Most of the time when I read these “can I kick so-and-so out of my bridal party” posts I roll my eyes BUT I think you have many perfectly valid reasons to not want her there. I feel for her, sort of, for not being strong enough to stay clear of her abuser but to bring someone who STOLE money from her father to an intimate family gathering is just… beyond uncouth. I think you should bar her and this guy from your ceremony so the day can be a focal point of love and celebration between you, your new husband and your families.

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