(Closed) I want to move on from the wedding – but I'm not sure how…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1277 posts
Bumble bee

@eocenia:  awe hugs, I have plenty of kitten pictures just for you!! I’m sorry. It sounds like EVERYONE was tense and stressed out from traveling, and language differences ect. i think maybe you and your new DH should go on a little holiday together and I have some stress free time? Also let everything surrounding the wedding and family issues go….for now. You can revisit these things later when everyone is chilled out.

Post # 4
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Okay, WOW!!! That is a lot to go through in such a short period of time. Especially during a time that everyone around you should be overjoyed.

I am sorry you didn’t get the reactions you wanted from your family on your apperance the day of your wedding.

I havea very messy family situation, so i can understabd some of the drama that surronds events, especially when both sides have to come together.

My only advice is to either call DH’s family and speck to them calmy about the wedding cost. If they knew about that they were responsible for paying for, this should not be an issue. if you feel uncomfrotable doing that yourself, have DH do it.

As far as how you get over the horrible experience, talk to your husband. and give it time

Post # 5
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


Wow, all of that just sucks. I would just give everyone a LOT of time to cool off and then try to talk about what happened in a calm way. 

Post # 7
1277 posts
Bumble bee

@eocenia:  ok sorry yes you did say you went to France, looks like we are all posting sleepy kitties!:)

Post # 9
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

As for the “money aspect” of the wedding and your DH’s family – I’m not sure what your dad expects.  Traditionally, the bride’s parents pay for the wedding or possibly they contribute along with the couple getting married.  I know a lot of times the groom’s parents will offer to pay for the rehersal dinner, or something of the sort – but its not a given. Anything the groom’s family does is pretty voluntary, out of the goodness of their heart. 

(I also understand if the groom’s family is far better off financially than the brides, and if they want a certain type of wedding, then they should fund it.)

Your dad should get over it unless there was some other agreement made before the wedding.  

Post # 10
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@eocenia:  just wanted to say *hugs*!  I’m sorry that thing were so stressful!

Post # 11
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh, honey. I am so sorry.  HUGS!

The days surrounding my wedding turned out to be unbelievably stressful also, but for much different reasons. In fact, there have been several threads about this on WB.  Here are two on which I posted.  I don’t know if reading them will help or not, but I wanted to share the links. 

Last minute WTF "surprises"

**Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

Don’t worry. It will be OK.

Post # 12
4090 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@eocenia:  I am so sorry how stressful things went!  You put on a wedding in a different country with planning remotely and getting everyone into a remote place – that’s kind of a feat in itself, things are bound to go a little haywire, but it sounds like more so due to family dynamics.  Your dad is a bit of a power pout and likes to have little tantrums.  And your brother!  What the heck?

Give yourself some more time to get over this.  Heck it’s going on a year since our wedding and I’m still working on getting over some grudges I’ve been holding onto.

Happy belated Birthday!  Do you have a wedding photo to share?

Post # 13
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@eocenia:  I’m so sorry you experienced that. Your dad is a bit of a grump. It was very selfish of him to not contain his anger re DH’s family. Minimally, that was what he was suppose to do for you, protect you from bad news and drama.

Its very disappointing but I think this kind of drama is not uncommon. I hate to admit it but I behaved like your dad in my little sister’s wedding. I complained about how disorgnised everything seemed to be. And I hate this part: I made her cry on the drive over to the venue by saying more mean things. I am regretting it for the rest of my life, and she never reminded me about it, I just woke up one morning and I remembered it. I deserve to feel ashamed of myself. 

What about forwarding your thread to your mom and dad? Is that too much?

Post # 16
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wish I could wave a magical wand for you and take away all that hurt. *hugs*

I’m not sure anything can ease your feelings but time… worst answer ever i know, but it will.  

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