Post # 1
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Before you read my posts, you should always read my 1st post. I want to run away from my new town and maybe quite possibly get a fresh start. My aunt offered me to live with her and nanny her daughter for about 1 year before my wedding. I’ll feel less lonely than I would with my fiance, who I am currently living with.
I have a house that I will be paying rent for. It is all set up nicely with two roommates. I will be paying a little under 400 bucks a month on my part-time $9 income. I have enough money saved up. I should be okay. Heck, I got approved by the landlord so I’m not worried. But I AM LONELY. I miss my mom 🙁 I Hate myself for missing her. I think she never put her hands on me and that is why I can forgive her easily. I still don’t like my parents. They started the emotional abuse when I was young by buying me a dog and returning it in a week. And then not bringing my pet parrots to our new city after we moved. These are such small things but I remind myself of them and get immediately angry. That is an awful thing to do to a young child and the abuse has just gotten worse. Maybe I am trying to tell myself why I shouldn’t miss them or vent in this post.
But, I am so lonely. My fiance, who knows everything, left me this weekend to go to a pre-planned football game in the neighboring state. He even took off 2 hours from work to do so. I won’t see him until tomorrow. He should be able to do things that he likes but I don’t think it was necessary to leave me once he knew Monday I would be coming. I feel so sad and he knows I am not in the best financial situation. He has left me feeling unwanted and feeling like my situation isn’t serious. His family knows about what happened and has not contacted me.
I really don’t like this city I am in. I am in Nashville and it is a rough city for finding a job. Unless you are in the music business or have a graduate degree, it is impossible to find something sustainable. I have been scammed a few weeks back by insurance companies and it has been a rough time. My fiance knows all of this and knows that I can’t go to grad school right now. I’m being dragged to a city after marriage that I don’t like with a fiance who is comfortable to leave me at home the weekend after all this happened. What should I do? Is my fiance being a good man?
Post # 2
Wow you have a lot on your plate tonight! Do you have someone you can call and chat with? Maybe just hanging out on the bee will help pass the time.
This too shall pass. Maybe try reframing…your Fiance didn’t leave you, he went on a pre-planned trip. He will be coming back. The stuff with your family is going to take some time to figure out. Tonight, is just one night and it is okay to not have everything solved.
Post # 3
I can only suggest you make an appt with a licensed therapist.
Post # 4
Try not to be too hard on your Fiance. He does care for you; he let you stay with him and plans to marry you. He did not tell you to stay with you parents and contimue being abused. As you said, the trip was planned in advance. That probably means money was paid and he would have lost it by not going. You are at his place and safe, so he is not worried. You will get over missing your family. Perhaps you can get a cat or a second job walking dogs or babysitting if you need some company. Do not let your feelings of lonliness make you think for one second that you should EVER contact your parents again. You will just fall back into their terrifying web.
Try to take this all one step at a time. You have a job, so focus on working. Do you have to move right now? Are you sure that you can’t save up some more? Is this place near Fiance or back where you were? It may take time, but you will find a job wherever you go. Your family was horrible to you, and despite what you feel, you are not missing a thing. Please, relax, take a walk, watch some movies and eat popcorn, exercise, read a book, listen to music, etc. There are many ways to fill your time. The weekend will fly by, dear. Good luck to you with everything!
Post # 5
southernbelle92: Your fiance may or may not be a bad man, but do you think you are ready for marriage? I think it is a good idea for a person to live on their own before marriage. Learn how to face life’s problems primarily on your own. I do not have the eloquence to state the many benefits of this approach, but I’m sure that 2 or 3 years from now you would not be happy to look back as say, “why did I marry him when I wasn’t sure?”
All the best.
Post # 6
I am a licensed therapist and I strongly urge you to seek help. All towns have community based mental health centers that treat people with no insurance or low income. They could not only set you up with a therapist, they could also set you up with a case manager. The case manager would help you access Medicaid if you are not insured (Among other things like groups, job openings etc.)
The Bee is a fantastic way to meet some great people who are very supportive and kind. However what you are going through is beyond the need for just support (Reading both your post.) Your abuse has lead you to believe somethings about the world that may seem normal to you but are not healthy for you. Please seek help soon. You absolutely deserve a happy and fulfilling life. Best of luck…
Post # 7
BeeinBlush: It’s crazy. I worked as a case manager just a few short months ago while in college. I also come from a wealthy family so I do have some stigma (like most people, regardless of wealth) to go to a shelter. But this is my situation and I should have help.