(Closed) I want to scream – house guest just damaged by new dining tableposted 3 years ago in The Lounge
- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
Two years ago I bought a $2,500 tv for our living room. We don’t comingle funds so this was a large purchase for me and I saved up a couple of bonus checks. DH was hanging it on the wall with his friend and he didn’t have the right sized bumpers on the back to fit the hanger thing so it wasn’t sitting flush to the wall. He took the palm of his hand and was hitting the screen to make it lay flat. I swear he’s not normally a moron, but I did yell at him to stop.
His friend has brought it up at least three times how I yelled at Darling Husband. I asked Darling Husband if he’s ok, and he said of course, because I never yell at him or rarely ever say anything. But now I don’t like his friend. 🙁
- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
Update: you guys, the table is fine. Yes it’s scratched, but it’s not that bad. I’m sure that some sort of polish or something will fix it up and even if it doesn’t we will all live to see another day. I think it’s well established that I was over reacting (even I realized I was over reacting right off the bat, which is why I made this post).
As everyone has said, while it’s very annoying when your new, lovely things get damaged, this isn’t really about a table. It’s about me finding everythig my Father-In-Law does annoying. And it’s about me being controlling and always wanting everything to be my way. And it’s about the way that sometimes anger builds up in me explosively and is not helping me be the person I want to be.
A few other updates/clarifications in case people are really interested:
Regarding my actal actions towards people in real life – I didn’t say anything to my Father-In-Law and don’t plan to (he had left by the time I got home). I have no desire to make him feel bad, if he texted my Darling Husband about it at work he probably already felt pretty bad. I did send a few texts in response to my Darling Husband, but venting here helped me avoid saying anything I’d regret. When I got home I just said, “oh, it’s not that bad, i’m sure we can fix it.”
Future plan – We plan to make sure we use a table cloth when we have guests in the future, and Darling Husband even suggested getting a piece of glass cut (which I hope to avoid until we have kids because we are adults and we should be able to enjoy nice things). It actually made me feel a lot better that Darling Husband wanted to change behavior around how we host guests as a result of this. It matters to me that he cares about our thing too.
Coasters & placemats – we were using placemats on the dining table and Father-In-Law kept putting his beer down on the table, off the placemat for some reason. I did quietly ask him to please not put his glass directly on the table which he did at first, but I think that wasn’t natural for him so he kept doing it, presumably by accident. I didn’t want to make a scene of asking or embarass him so I just kept moving it since I was sitting beside him and, frankly, if filled me with rage seeing it sitting 2 inches from the placemat. Obviously, this approach built up signifigant resentment!
Anger/control issues – I’m going to call my employers EAP program and see if they can provide some guidance. I did a little qiuz online and it said I should probably seek help. I don’t get angry often but when I do I feel out of control and like I can’t even understand why I’m so upset. Seems like something I should get under control for the good of my marriage. Especially as my Darling Husband is the sweetest and doesn’t deserve to ever be on the recieving end of that.
Remidies – I’m psyched to see so many comments about remidies! I didn’t know the mayo thing, if I get a ring in the future I’m all over that.
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