- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
My mother and I have had a very interesting relationship. We love each other, but she is bipolar and borderline and refuses to seek treatement. This makes things very strained between us because she is so unstable. When I first got engaged she threatened to kill herself if my stepfather walked me down the aisle. Since then she’s been constantly calling me threatening not to come to the wedding if something isn’t done to her liking, calling to cry about how unincluded she feels in my life, or calling to scream at me about something. I try to include her in the wedding planning process but it seems like everytime I call her excited about something, she has a negative comment or the conversation ends with her yelling or crying. I’ve just stopped telling her as much because it completely puts a damper on the wedding process. Anyway, I got an email from a good friend of mine who is also friends with my mom gently pointing out how hurt my mother feels and how unincluded in the wedding she feels. I don’t know what to do because I’ve always sacrificed my personal happiness to try and appease her and through counseling I’m realizing that this is unhealthy and not the way I want to live my life. Not to mention, it would be disasterous for my upcoming marriage.
She came to my bridal shower and was rude to my Future Mother-In-Law and future aunt, had a crying fit in the middle of the shower caused a huge scene at the hotel where she called me a Bridezilla because I asked her to find a way to get from the hotel to the ceremony on my wedding day (letting her know I couldn’t drive her). Now she says how poorly everyone treated her and how no one made special hotel or car reservations for her for the shower. It’s just ridiculous and is causing me a huge amount of anxiety (to the point where I’m in counseling and taking anti-anxiety meds).
She isn’t paying for the wedding, just in case anyone was wondering. I WANT to include my mother but it’s always such a negative experience and I can feel my anxiety level rising everytime she calls me. Am I so terrible as to not include her on EVERYTHING in my wedding for my own piece of mind?