(Closed) I want to stay but I should go

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are going through this. I know it must be awful for you. From what you have written, it seems like he is very controlling. If I were you, I would leave and get a lawyer. Do not sign anything over to him. Let the lawyer handle everything. If you don’t have anywhere to go and he is willing to leave, let him.

Post # 4
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with noritake. This is a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship and if you can leave, do it NOW. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

Post # 6
84 posts
Worker bee

i would leave. as fast as you can. everyone deserves better then that and he doesnt seem like he respects you or your family. and that is not love. ive been there and done that and got out of it. follow your gut, not the “i used to love this guy” feeling. people change and its not always for the best.

Post # 7
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You have got to go, this relationship you describe is toxic.

Post # 8
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with other posters. You need to do what is right for you. Like you said, you love him, but what is important to realise is that love is not everything. Love isn’t what should be keeping you there. Love is great when it is hand in hand with respect, trust, loyalty, integrity, etc. But what love is the only thing there and none of those other things exist then it really is time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

NOBODY has the right to treat you like shit. We ALL have the right to feel safe and to be loved, and nobody should settle for anything less.

Love will find you again. And it will probably come hand in hand with trust, respect and friendship. always remember that. Taking the step to stand up for what you deserve can be hard. It certainly won’t be easy, but it will make you a stronger person in the long run.

Best of luck xo

Post # 10
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Put a lawyer on retainer and have them work out any of the paperwork and interactions – you need OUT! It’ll be worth the money.

Post # 11
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

From this post and some of your others, outside of all the family drama (which is terrible) – honestly, I think the way your husband treats you is terrible. You’ve said he has thrown your clean, folded laundry to the ground, tries to force you to sign documents you don’t want to sign, threatens to leave you/the house, calls you names, etc.

That isn’t how to treat people you love and respect. He’s a bully. From what you said, this is also how he treats his family members – this is HIM. This is how he interacts with the people in this life. 99.9% of the time, people don’t change. Especially not if they don’t want to change – but are just doing it to please others.

I know sometimes you can be soooooo in love with someone you want to ignore their fauults – but if your best friend, or sister said that their husband did these things to them, what advice would you give them?

Good luck, I think you are in a very tough spot, and I hope it all works out for the best, for YOU.

Post # 12
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just checkin in…hope you are doing ok!

Post # 13
990 posts
Busy bee


Post # 14
1765 posts
Buzzing bee


Will HE/can you tell him you are staying in your home, and get him to move out?  Don’t sign anything and DO get yourself a lawyer like the other posters said.  I would be worried about things escalating and him physically abusing you!  You deserve better!  Good luck, and keep us posted with how you are doing.  We care about you and your happiness and your life!   

Post # 16
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Leaving may not be the answer, but it definitely should be an option.  This is not a healthy relationship.

The topic ‘I want to stay but I should go’ is closed to new replies.

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