(Closed) I want to strangle some sense into her

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you need to cut her some slack.  I know when I was 19, the “social graces” were not yet in tact for me either.  It’s just something that comes with maturity.

My sister lived across the world while I was engaged, and tried to be as helpful as possible but it was obviously limited what she could help me with.  I hope you’ll be able to just enjoy what she’s able to give and be able to enjoy your engagement!

Post # 4
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to agree with the PP, when it is your sisters time you should be the bigger person and help out instead of cary a grudge. If you do exactly what she has done, it shows immaturity. 

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I kind of disagree with he PP’s. Many 19 year olds would do a lot more assuming they had some money to do with it.

However, I do agree with the PP’s that it is a lot of responsibility and maybe you should rethink your Maid/Matron of Honor choice and choose as second, older girlfriend to help your sister.

Post # 6
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, what sapphiresun said. When I was 19, I would definitely have been pretty clueless about most of the things required to help plan a wedding. And it takes time for some people to “grow into” what others might consider common courtesies, especially if they weren’t explicitly taught. Also, is it possible that she’s jealous? 19 is definitely an age where some girls could really starting to be thinking about getting married, and even wondering when the right guy will come along, etc…

Post # 8
Member
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

she probably just doen’t know what to do.  she is only 19.  some 19 year old girls really don’t care about weddings and stuff.

if you need her to do something, give her instructions.

Post # 10
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I understand how you feel.  I have 3 sisters ( one older, and two younger).  They are all fairly well with responsibility, but one is a little more self-involved than the others.  And I totally know how you feel about not wanting to help her when the time comes.  Others may (and probably will) disagree with me, but there comes a point in your life where you have to “treat people how they treat you” and not “how you want to be treated.” Sometimes I find that to be a wake-up call to how their behavior has affected others.  Sometimes people really don’t know they are being unhelpful until someone shows them how they act. Is this how she normally acts? Or has this come about the same time as your engagment?  

Post # 12
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its your Maid/Matron of Honor who should be doing stuff with you, like dress shopping, venue searching etc. Cut her some slack and leave her be. She just has to wear her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and walk down the alise and pose for some photos at your wedding, nothing else. Let your older girls handle everything else. Its also unfair to compare BM’s to each other, not eveyone is going to act the way you expect them to.

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