(Closed) "I want to surprise you." BS! (rant)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you enjoy waiting months longer than necessary so that your proposal could be a 'surprise'?
    NO - just ask me already, I know it's coming! : (65 votes)
    39 %
    YES - I can't wait to see how he does it! : (27 votes)
    16 %
    I'll wait a little bit, but don't keep me on the line for 6+ months. : (74 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3421 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    @koveline:  I like a good romantic surprise more then any girl but to wait extra AFTER the ring in in your possession is CRUEL! It shouldn’t be :

    Pick ring
    pay for ring
    get ring
    plan proposal
    propose.

    NO! It should be

    Pick ring
    pay for ring
    plan proposal
    get ring
    propose.

    The girl has already been waiting for you to afford the damn thing. I hope that once my SO has that box in hands he can’t wait to give it to me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It’s a guy thing.  It’s the only wedding thing that is under their control.  Because, if we’re honest, once the wedding planning starts, everybody is all about the bride, what the bride is wearing, what the bride wants/plans/thinks…

    The proposal is the guy’s chance to shine.  Why take it away from him?

    Post # 6
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes, I hate when I ask SO “where is the damn proposal/ring already?” and he tells me that by talking about it, I’m ruining the surprise. We’ve been together almost SIX years, it’s a little late for a surprise! I know he hasn’t bought a ring yet b/c when I just found out I was wrong about my size and I told him about it, he was unphased. I’m gonna be mad if he does buy the ring and holds it for more than a month or 2. I can’t see any logical reason to purchase it and just hold onto it forever until you’re finally ready to “pop the question.”

    Post # 7
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @AprilJo2011:  I agree 100%

    I knew when my (now) fiance picked up the ring from the jeweler, and that he wanted to make it special, but it felt like I waited for an eternity, and it was only from Sunday to the next Saturday! I found out later that the day we picked it out that he brought it home that day and then had to take it back to be resized, and I remember thinking wtf honey?! Why wouldn’t you have sent it off the day you bought it?? You just wasted like 2 weeks! lol. But I promise, even if you KNOW it’s coming and you have to wait a little bit, it will still be extra special. My guy knew that a romantic proposal was something I’ve dreamed about for a long time and he wanted to make it extra special. He said it put a lot of pressure on him and he was worried that he’d ruin a moment I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl. Maybe that’s something your boyfriend is worried about?

    Post # 9
    Member
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Ugh, I hate this crap too! I don’t know why I’m diluding myself to think that SO is going to just up and suprise proposal one day because honestly, any suprise factor went out the window about 4 years ago when we first talked about getting married. The only surprise now would be if he actually asks instead of what will probably just be a mutual decision one day to go and buy a ring together. Argh…

    Post # 10
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee

    @koveline:  I feel like you just read my mind lol! I really never see the logic in this, I see waiting for reasons of saving up for a ring or getting more settled in life before taking the next step, etc that makes logical sense… waiting for the mere fact of just waiting like somehow seeing you everyday won’t remind her that she’s not engaged to you haha…..boys. If they really want to surprise us they should ask sooner rather than later! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I think in a lot of cases, it’s foot-dragging on the side of the groom.  There can be times when a guy is planning some kind of crazy suprise that would take months of preperation (a flash mob comes to mind), but otherwise, a very nice suprise proposal can be planned in a matter of days when a guy is motivated.

     

    Case in point. My Fiance comes from a country where it isn’t really socially acceptable to date, and lots of people still have arranged marriages.  So when he met, he told me he would never introduce me to his parents unless we were planning on getting married.  After we’d dated a little over a year, he mentioned that he thought it was time I meet his parents.  I met his parents at the end of november, our parents met each other New Years Eve, and only 1 months and 2 days later, he was popping the question.  And yes!  It was a suprise.  I didn’t even know he had a ring yet.  He ordered the ring, and the day it came in, he booked a limo, a 5-star restaurant rez, called my mom to ‘ask permission’ and came up with a funny excuse to get me to go to the place we first met.,,and he got it all organized in about a week.  I think getting me there was the hardest part!

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My fiance had my ring for 8 months before he asked me, we’ve been together for 9 years and at that point 7 years.  I was never in any rush for a proposal so its hard for me to relate to those who are.  I’m laid back in general though. It was a COMPLETE surprise and I’m glad it was, knowing wouldnt have been as romantic for me.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4124 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    @AprilJo2011:  Agree. Our other halves are under a LOT of pressure to plan the perfect proposal.

    Do you really want the anser to “how did he propose?” to be “I kept nagging him and eventually he gave me a ring whilst I was taking a dump” It makes them look bad.

    That said, I wish SO would hurry up already 😉 it’s been well over a year since he asked my Dad for my hand.

    Post # 16
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee

    This is the boat I’m in. I know he has the ring, and now I’m just waiting for it. Granted, it has only been 3 days since it has been in our house. But every time I see him practically I think it might be time. I’m not sure what exactly he’s waiting for. He’s not exactly a really romantic guy, so i dont think he’s planning anything crazy…JUST ASK ALREADY.

     

    I’m thankful I have the Bee so i say that to you guys instead of him.

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