(Closed) I want to TTC but he is sending mixed signals

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would take him at his word and talk to him about it once you’re married – it sounds like he is excited to have kids but right now is focused on the wedding and wanting to take it one thing at a time. You could go ahead and ask him just to clarify that when he says “when the time comes” he just means after the wedding, not like years from now, but I would assume based on your past conversations that he just means he wants to get through the wedding first before you two jump into TTC.

Post # 4
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@larissamarie19:  I always find myself on the husband’s side for posts like this because I really want kids too, but I would also be very sad not to get newlywed time for just the two of us. He  probably feels the same way. At 27, I doubt it will break your timeline to give it more than a month of just married time before trying.

Also, as a guy, he probably doesn’t know about stuff like prenatal vitamins and charting (hell I didn’t know about those things until recently) so he doesn’t see why you want to start “preparing” for something that won’t happen for months.

Post # 5
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@worldtraveler:  <- this!

 

my sweet Darling Husband didn’t think about time spent preparing or even time spent pregnant. In his mind we would get pregnant right away and then boom no more us time.  But we found a nice compromise on timeline.  Just remember that having kids is a REALLY big decision, and not one you want to go into with disagreement.

Post # 6
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@worldtraveler:  +1 as well.

One step at a time. At least wait until you’re married to start asking him about TTC. It’;s only a month later. He might be feeling overwhelmed with getting marrie dand then having to have a baby right away. I would talk to him after the wedding when it will probably be easier to reach out to him.

Also, in the meantime, you can start taking prenatal vitamins if you haven’t already. That way you are doing something to prepare for TTC.

 

Post # 7
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mine did the same thing….The reality is wanting children and having them are two completely different things. Maybe he is just getting anxious that it’s coming up so quickly.  I’d just wait and talk about it after the wedding – He likely still wants to have kids sooner rather than later, but there’s no harm in waiting a few months or even a year or two after the wedding. You guys are still young and have time.  In the meantime, why don’t you focus on getting yourself ready physically by exercising, taking prenatals, eating healthier, etc.  Then, when you guys decide to give it the go, you’ll be all ready!  

We wanted to TTC right after the wedding, but because Darling Husband got laid off we pushed that back.  Even if he hadn’t gotten laid off we still probably would have waited a few months because like I said, it all seems like an awesome idea but it’s scary once it is finally go time!  We’re using this time to get our house ready by doing major cleaning and making room for a baby when the time comes.  We’re also doing lots of things we know we won’t be able to do as easily once we have a kid, such as mini vacations and just going into the city for a night out.  

 

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