Post # 1
Just want to get your thoughts on what to do. Since we have gotten together FH has said that he wants kids, cant wait to have kids, would like to be a father at a younger age and also that if he would have met the right woman (Me 🙂 ) sooner that he would have probably have already started having children.
So here we are now, getting married in september and we couldn’t be more happy. We own our own home we are doing pretty good financially and we have a great support network. He is 29, I am 27. I really want to start TTC after we have our honeymoon in Oct. but when I talked to him about it he said “we are getting married in sept, lets just talk about that when that time comes”. When he said that I was like WTF! He knows that I don’t want to wait much longer. We have agreed that we are going to have 2 possibly 3 children and i don’t want to be in my mid to late thirtys having children.
I don’t want to push him but one day his like “oh I can’t wait to have kids” he has got picked out which bedrooms for a little girl and which bedroom will be for a little boy and then he’s all like “we’ll talk about that when the time comes”
Is he ready or not? what would you ladies do?????
Post # 3
I would take him at his word and talk to him about it once you’re married – it sounds like he is excited to have kids but right now is focused on the wedding and wanting to take it one thing at a time. You could go ahead and ask him just to clarify that when he says “when the time comes” he just means after the wedding, not like years from now, but I would assume based on your past conversations that he just means he wants to get through the wedding first before you two jump into TTC.
Post # 4
@larissamarie19: I always find myself on the husband’s side for posts like this because I really want kids too, but I would also be very sad not to get newlywed time for just the two of us. He probably feels the same way. At 27, I doubt it will break your timeline to give it more than a month of just married time before trying.
Also, as a guy, he probably doesn’t know about stuff like prenatal vitamins and charting (hell I didn’t know about those things until recently) so he doesn’t see why you want to start “preparing” for something that won’t happen for months.
Post # 5
@worldtraveler: <- this!
my sweet Darling Husband didn’t think about time spent preparing or even time spent pregnant. In his mind we would get pregnant right away and then boom no more us time. But we found a nice compromise on timeline. Just remember that having kids is a REALLY big decision, and not one you want to go into with disagreement.
Post # 6
@worldtraveler: +1 as well.
One step at a time. At least wait until you’re married to start asking him about TTC. It’;s only a month later. He might be feeling overwhelmed with getting marrie dand then having to have a baby right away. I would talk to him after the wedding when it will probably be easier to reach out to him.
Also, in the meantime, you can start taking prenatal vitamins if you haven’t already. That way you are doing something to prepare for TTC.
Post # 7
Mine did the same thing….The reality is wanting children and having them are two completely different things. Maybe he is just getting anxious that it’s coming up so quickly. I’d just wait and talk about it after the wedding – He likely still wants to have kids sooner rather than later, but there’s no harm in waiting a few months or even a year or two after the wedding. You guys are still young and have time. In the meantime, why don’t you focus on getting yourself ready physically by exercising, taking prenatals, eating healthier, etc. Then, when you guys decide to give it the go, you’ll be all ready!
We wanted to TTC right after the wedding, but because Darling Husband got laid off we pushed that back. Even if he hadn’t gotten laid off we still probably would have waited a few months because like I said, it all seems like an awesome idea but it’s scary once it is finally go time! We’re using this time to get our house ready by doing major cleaning and making room for a baby when the time comes. We’re also doing lots of things we know we won’t be able to do as easily once we have a kid, such as mini vacations and just going into the city for a night out.