- 5 years ago
Hi all.. I was wondering what you think about this situation.. Recently, a friend of about ten years got married. I was happily one of her BM’s. That happily only lasted up to a certain point in her wedding planning process, though. After a while, it became more out of obligation than anything. Let me explain without going into a ton of detail. When she hired and fired about FOUR wedding planners (four different locations regionally), the local BM’s (three of us) stepped up to help her find vendors and other things she needed. This was between the hiring and firing of the different planners. When each new one was hired, there would be radio silence on her end, and we were left wondering “wtf”. When they were fired, she’d come to us stressed out, and we’d help. Somewhere in there, she and I had a small disagreement when she asked the BM’s to join her in walking around a local park with signs that said something to the extent of “will work for wedding”, and I refused. Just, no.. Anyway, we made up and were okay. In the 3 months leading up to the wedding, the BM’s were told by the Maid/Matron of Honor that we were not supposed to contact the bride about the wedding. Everything was supposed to go through the Maid/Matron of Honor (which I get to a certain extent). Guess what we needed? Dresses. That was a huge fiasco that turned half her bridesmaids against her and the Maid/Matron of Honor to the point of them almost dropping out of the wedding. I pulled the bride aside and talked to her, and pulled the disgruntled BM’s aside and had kumbayah moments with them, and everyone was back on board. At this point, the bride didn’t have her dress, either (last minute emergency that couldn’t be helped). She and I planned to go to a nearby city to speak with someone who could make a dress for her. I get the day off from work, try to call her to see when we’re leaving, and no response… Finally, the Maid/Matron of Honor failed to do a bachelorette party/bridal shower, so the Fiance called me and asked me to do it 3 days before the wedding, I did.
During this whole time, hardly a word from her, let alone a “thank you”. Two months after the wedding, I hadn’t heard a word from her, but my Maid/Matron of Honor (a mutual friend and one of the BM’s in her wedding) let me know that she was trying to help her plan my wedding. Maybe I’m nitpicking, but I just felt that after that entire time of lack of communication and lack of consideration, we needed to talk. So when I tried to talk to her about all of the above, she got upset with me… AAanndd I basically kicked her out of my Bridal Party and univted her to my wedding and we are no longer talking. I kinda feel bad for uninviting her to the wedding, but at the same time, I feel that it had to be said. I don’t know, what do you all think? Part of me says that I should go talk to her, but the other part says, “eh”..