Post # 1
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Hey Everyone,
I need help on a dilemma. I was a bridesmaids in a wedding 3 years ago to a girl that I use to be close with. After her wedding we had a big falling out and things got awkward. When I got engaged, things got worst and we grew even further apart. We barely talk but we see each other in the summer because we play on the same sports team.
Im getting married this summer and Im wondering if I have to invite her? I feel like I have to as I was in her wedding but I dont know if I really should if we dont talk often and shes been a bad friend.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Member
7627 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I wouldn’t invite her.
I would consider inviting her if we had just grown apart, however, I wouldn’t invite someone who I had a falling out with (especially if things are still awkward!).
Post # 4
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
@stephers11: As women, I would say that not inviting a friend is making the final gesture that the friendship is over (especially if you’re having a large wedding). So… if you’re ready to say goodbye to the friendship, do not invite her. It’s not about ettiquette. You don’t have to invite her just because you went to her wedding, things are different now. If you’re ready to put the final nail in the coffin of this friendship (and it sounds like you are) then don’t invite her.
Post # 5
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
Well…did you grow apart or did you have a fight and stop being friends? If you had just grown apart, I would say invite her. But if you stopped being friends, then I would not invite her.
Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Well it was weird. After her wedding she got really distant and I kept reaching out but she’d be short and rude so when I got engaged, she got even more distant and didnt care at all that I got engaged (we were besties). After seeing each other twice a week three weeks later she points to my hand and says “lets see it” and doesnt say anything. I confronted her after feeling like shit and she just got uber defensive and turned it on me when I was the one who kept reaching out. She wouldnt apologize either. Now when I see her its civil but I don’t make an effort as she doesnt consider mine or others feelings. Shes always causing drama and is negative. Last we talked was before Christmas and I told her I had 6 bridesmaids and dress were bought and she never replied (emails) and we havent talked since. Its just awkward cuz i might be on her team again so the wedding will fall during the season. She made the beginning of my engagement heart breaking because someone who I thought was one of my close friends totally checked out.
Post # 8
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
Nope don’t invite anyone you don’t want to. I was a Maid/Matron of Honor in my ex-bstfriends wedding just 2 years ago and I was gonna ask her to be in mine but then stuff happened and we no longer talk so she will not be getting an invite to my wedding.
Post # 9
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
I’m in a similar situation was Maid/Matron of Honor for my ex-bestfriend. Things have changed and even though we did not have a major fall out, we just grew apart. Even though I wish I could invite her there is really no point. Most times if you have to question whether to invite someone, the best thing is not to because it will make things more awkward!!!
Post # 10
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Ya it’s tough only because i will be seeing her all summer most likely at our sports games and the wedding is May 31st so it’ll be obvious she’s not attending. its a tough call 🙁
Post # 11
Member
6737 posts
Bee Keeper
If you invited her, do you think she’d even come? If she came, would you be upset to see her there?
Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
@futuremrsk18: that’s a good question. i dont think i’d be upset to be honest if she wasn’t there… well maybe slightly only because than i’d truly see how she’s feeling? although i sometimes think she’d show up to be vindictive too?
Post # 13
Member
6737 posts
Bee Keeper
@stephers11: personally, i’d say perhaps it’s time to have a real adult sit down and talk about what happened. make a decision after that talk, depending on how it goes.
Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
@stephers11: I had a similar guest list situation. My best friend from high school and I fell apart when going to college. We grew apart and had both said some nasty things to each other. I have not had any real conversation with her in almost 2 years. When I was planning my guest list I questioned inviting her and here is how I made up my mind, if she was getting married and I was not invited would I be upset? Answer: Yes. So I invited her. I’m super glad I did. We’ve talked a few times, we’ve both grown up and I think she is truly and genuenly happy to be part of my day.
Ask yourself this, if this girl was getting married (I know she already is married but just pretend) and you did not get an invitation would you be hurt or upset?
If yes invite her
If you truly think you would care less don’t invite her